Today was a must day. Hubby was sleeping when I woke up just after 9am. So I went down and got some yogurt and a soda and came back up to bed. I opened the soda downstairs so it wouldn't wake him but when I got up there, I turned on the tv, and turned the volume down low. It wasn't low enough and he rolled over and said "We are getting up now?" I said sorry and turned the volume down lower and he said "This is what you want me to do? When I wake up and you are still asleep, you want me to turn on the tv and eat in bed?" And I said "Yes."
Well Mr Grumpy just went into the bathroom for his morning constitutional. It takes a while. In the meantime, I finished eating and took an Instagram photo of all the dogs on the bed and the cat. They took up most of the space and I took it from the foot of the bed and put "See what I wake up to? Me, in that little space left!" It was funny!
When Mr Grumpy came back in the room, I told him I had a subconscious reason for waking him up that I now realized. He asked what it was. I said "If we kick the dogs off the bed and move them downstairs, I'll show you!" Within a minute the dogs were gated downstairs and hubby and I enjoyed each other, romantically.
I drove hubby to work and took the car. I went and had my nails done. I get the gel nails. I did have orange but I just got my pedicure and got purple sparkly nail polish on my toes, so I wanted purple sparkly gel nails. I get the gel nails because they don't chip and look good until they grow out, about 2 and a half weeks. I get the tips done in color, then they take a brush and dip it in acetone and pat the color and draw it down my nail so that it "bleeds" a little. Then they put the sparkly layer over that. It makes it not so noticeable when the nail grows.
When I was done, I went over to Goodwill. I didn't know why I needed to go, I just felt like I did. So I walked in the door. And there was another stick scarecrow to put in the yard. It was only $4.99! It was bigger than the two I have already but then I would have 3, one for each of my flower tires. So I got it. Then I found a framed and matted picture of a pig, a drawn pig with doodles inside. It was perfect for my kitchen! So I got that for 99 cents. I found some dog salt and pepper shakers, some books, and a 1932 crochet booklet for 99 cents! Not sure what it is worth, but I was getting it!
Then I switched the car back with hubby and hung out at home. Frank offered to pay for dinner if hubby would pick it up on his way home. Then Frank and I finished putting potting soil in the potted plants Janice gave me that were out on the porch, so we could bring them inside. I also potted the geranium cutting that I had out there and the christmas cactus cuttings. I put the trees and geraniums in the kitchen and the christmas cactus pots on the window sill in the craft room. Then Frank put on the outside faucet coverings to protect the pipes from freezing.
When hubby got home, he brought home Popeyes chicken strips for all of us. I had forgotten that I don't really like their chicken strips, they taste under cooked to me. But tomorrow, I will nuke them in the microwave and they should be fine.
Tomorrow is the start of the book sale by the Friends of the Library. Members get to shop from 4-7pm. I will be dropping hubby off at work and keeping the car again.
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Today was a hard day. Hubby didn't have to be at work until 1130am, but got up early and went in, trying to make up time that he had missed on Tuesday because of staying home until his doctor's appointment. So I got up when he left and ate some yogurt and drank a cola. I did remember, for the second day in a row, to take my morning pills on time. Yeah! Last week, I missed 3 mornings where I didn't take them at all.
I called in hubby's pain prescription to the doctor's to get a script written. In this state, maybe it's a federal law now? You have to have a written prescription and take it into a local pharmacy to get narcotics. And hubby takes them to control the pain in his back from the first herniated disc that he had back surgery on to repair.
I also called on a bankruptcy loan paper that was sent to us about qualifying to buy a car at lower rates than we got before. I got in contact with the dealership, it's in Thorton, a suburb of Denver. Hubby and I talked about it before he left and I told him I would check it out. We are a pretty safe bet now, since we declared bankruptcy, we can't file again for another 7 years, not that we plan to. But since we can't legally default on a loan, people want to lend us money. And since the car, the 1998 Saturn SL1, is slowly falling apart, we are open to see how much it will cost to get another car. The salesman went over a few things with me but said I should make an appointment and come up. It's a Volkswagen and Ford dealership and they have new and used cars. The program is for a loan from $10,000 to $39,000. Hubby and I are interested in finding out how much a car would be and the interest rate, then seeing if we could afford that and the insurance. When hubby comes home tonight, I will talk to him and see what day he is off next week when he has to work on Saturday and see if he will go up with me to check everything out.
At 2pm, I had an agent from Humera Insurance company come out to the house. I was wondering if it was possible for me to get a Medicare Advantage Plan without prescription drug coverage as my secondary insurance without jeopardizing my primary insurance, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, which we get through hubby's work. Since I am permanently disabled under Social Security, I have Medicare, Part A and Part B.
The agent, George, is an agent for a local Insurance Broker burt contracted out to Humera to only talk to me about the Medicare Advantage Plans. Goody! We chatted a little about what I have, what I was interested in and if it was possible. I found out that there is no insurance law against it, but I'm just not allowed to have 2 prescription plans. I can have a primary insurance and a secondary one, but only one prescription plan.
George told me that any Medicare prescription plan will only cover for the first $3,000 of drugs total cost billed from use, then they expect you pay out of pocket for so much money before they will pay some of your prescriptions again. Screwy! So I will keep my Blue Cross/Blue Shield medical and prescription coverage.
So George told me about the Humera PPO plan medical only. It's better coverage than what I have now on Medicare. There is two bonuses that you get, too. A membership into Silver Sneakers, a fitness routine. It's a free membership to one of several gyms, one being 24 Hour Fitness, a gym just up the street in the shopping center. The other bonus is I will get a credit of $25 each month to spend in their over the counter catalog. Things like asprin, Miralax, compression socks and so much more. I figured I would spend $30 a month to make sure I get my full $25 credit every month.
I told George that I had to talk to my primary insurance to make sure they have no problems with it and that I would call him next week. I have to talk it over with hubby too, to get his opinion.
When George left, I called BC/BS and talked to them. They reiterated what George had said and that it wasn't a problem to have a secondary insurance. So when hubby got home for lunch. I told him all about the plan. I had taken the time to read all the material that George had left with me, too.
Cassie called this evening! Twice! We got cut off the first time and then she called back! We had a nice conversation and she invited me to go with her to a baby shower on November 7th in Canyon City, to a friend of her's from growing up. I don't remember the girl but that's ok. I'll pick up a baby gift and go. It will be fun!
I was really suffering today, wanting to text Cassie for no reason and just chat, but I didn't. But then she called and it was good. It is working out better for her to contact me when she has time, she then takes the time to talk to me and not rush me off the phone. This is good.
I called in hubby's pain prescription to the doctor's to get a script written. In this state, maybe it's a federal law now? You have to have a written prescription and take it into a local pharmacy to get narcotics. And hubby takes them to control the pain in his back from the first herniated disc that he had back surgery on to repair.
I also called on a bankruptcy loan paper that was sent to us about qualifying to buy a car at lower rates than we got before. I got in contact with the dealership, it's in Thorton, a suburb of Denver. Hubby and I talked about it before he left and I told him I would check it out. We are a pretty safe bet now, since we declared bankruptcy, we can't file again for another 7 years, not that we plan to. But since we can't legally default on a loan, people want to lend us money. And since the car, the 1998 Saturn SL1, is slowly falling apart, we are open to see how much it will cost to get another car. The salesman went over a few things with me but said I should make an appointment and come up. It's a Volkswagen and Ford dealership and they have new and used cars. The program is for a loan from $10,000 to $39,000. Hubby and I are interested in finding out how much a car would be and the interest rate, then seeing if we could afford that and the insurance. When hubby comes home tonight, I will talk to him and see what day he is off next week when he has to work on Saturday and see if he will go up with me to check everything out.
At 2pm, I had an agent from Humera Insurance company come out to the house. I was wondering if it was possible for me to get a Medicare Advantage Plan without prescription drug coverage as my secondary insurance without jeopardizing my primary insurance, Blue Cross/Blue Shield, which we get through hubby's work. Since I am permanently disabled under Social Security, I have Medicare, Part A and Part B.
The agent, George, is an agent for a local Insurance Broker burt contracted out to Humera to only talk to me about the Medicare Advantage Plans. Goody! We chatted a little about what I have, what I was interested in and if it was possible. I found out that there is no insurance law against it, but I'm just not allowed to have 2 prescription plans. I can have a primary insurance and a secondary one, but only one prescription plan.
George told me that any Medicare prescription plan will only cover for the first $3,000 of drugs total cost billed from use, then they expect you pay out of pocket for so much money before they will pay some of your prescriptions again. Screwy! So I will keep my Blue Cross/Blue Shield medical and prescription coverage.
So George told me about the Humera PPO plan medical only. It's better coverage than what I have now on Medicare. There is two bonuses that you get, too. A membership into Silver Sneakers, a fitness routine. It's a free membership to one of several gyms, one being 24 Hour Fitness, a gym just up the street in the shopping center. The other bonus is I will get a credit of $25 each month to spend in their over the counter catalog. Things like asprin, Miralax, compression socks and so much more. I figured I would spend $30 a month to make sure I get my full $25 credit every month.
I told George that I had to talk to my primary insurance to make sure they have no problems with it and that I would call him next week. I have to talk it over with hubby too, to get his opinion.
When George left, I called BC/BS and talked to them. They reiterated what George had said and that it wasn't a problem to have a secondary insurance. So when hubby got home for lunch. I told him all about the plan. I had taken the time to read all the material that George had left with me, too.
Cassie called this evening! Twice! We got cut off the first time and then she called back! We had a nice conversation and she invited me to go with her to a baby shower on November 7th in Canyon City, to a friend of her's from growing up. I don't remember the girl but that's ok. I'll pick up a baby gift and go. It will be fun!
I was really suffering today, wanting to text Cassie for no reason and just chat, but I didn't. But then she called and it was good. It is working out better for her to contact me when she has time, she then takes the time to talk to me and not rush me off the phone. This is good.
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Tuesday, October 27, 2015
Today was a celebratory day! I had therapy at 10am today so had hubby set the alarm for 915am. When it went off, I asked him for 10 more minutes. Then I got up. He decided that since he had a doctor's appointment this afternoon, he was just going to take the day off, so he jumped back in bed.
I met with Steve and we talked about all the things I had done this week with hubby to get my focus on us instead of on Cassie. Told him about the dinner at Fazoli's, the movie he slept through and roller derby. While we were talking, Cassie called! But I was in the middle of my session, so I sent the call to voicemail. I asked Steve if this what normal parents did, deal with their kids when it was convenient to them, not answer their calls if it was in the middle of something. Not contact them just to think they are talking to them often. He said that when children leave the home, the parents have to shift their focus onto themselves, live their life for them as the children aren't dependent on them full time anymore. It's ok to self-centric. I feel good. I celebrated having Cassie finally contact me on her own.
When I was done with therapy, I got in my car then listened to my voicemail. Cassie said that she had been super busy last week but things had slowed down now and she was wondering how I was and I could call her back. So I did. We talked for about 8 minutes about all the stuff we had done last week and what she was doing, how she and Drew had gotten sick from another person who had moved into the house. Drew was home sick again today but she had to work. There are 8 people living in the house now and it's really crowded. Then she couldn't figure out which mailbox was her work mailbox and it was really windy outside so she had to go. So I told her I loved her and hung up. Then I drove home. When I got home, I took a pic in the car of me smiling with my head scarf showing and texted it to her with I Love You.
I got in the house and asked hubby if he wanted to go to the library with me, to see The Friends of the Library. I wanted to see if they had any Donna Andrews, Joanne Fluke or Janet Evonavich books. I also wanted to find out what days and times the book sale was this week. But hubby didn't want to go, so we ate lunch first and then I went.
There were none of the books that I was looking for but I did find a book on the history of the first 200 years of advertising in a big hardback with the book cover still on. I bought it for hubby for Christmas, as I already had stuff for him for his birthday. But maybe I will give it to him for his birthday. We'll see.
When I got home, hubby and I spent a little bit of time together just talking about what I had told Steve and making more plans for the weekend. I'm going to the book sale on Friday when it opens at 4pm to 7pm. I won't be there that late, maybe but he will be working late and doesn't mind if I do. It's for members only on Friday. Then I won't go on Saturday but will go on Sunday when it's fill a paper grocery bag for $5. And I know how to pack them, so hubby is going to go with me for that. We will get a lot of bags of books, because I take some into the used book stores for trade and also sell them at my garage sales. I didn't have one this year but will next year.
Then hubby went off to get his skin check at the dermatology department and go into work. I puttered around the house then went to visit Janice. We talked for a little while and found out she wants to sell her house for $200,000. I'm thinking Good Luck! as the houses around here are about $175,000, maybe. And they only have a one car garage. But they really want to move so we will see. She doesn't want to list the house until after the holidays though. I gave her some suggestions of things that my mom used to do when they would get transferred to a new place so she could check out places in Florida where they would consider moving to find crime rate and employment and stuff.
Hubby came home at 7pm and we took the chicken out to grill it and the gas was empty. So we turned on the oven when Frank suggested getting a pizza. I suggested Papa Murphy's, the take and bake place, as they have $10 Tuesdays. Any sized pizza up to large with any toppings for only $10. So he and Frank went there. They got the Family Sized for $12. Meat Lovers. I normally don't get anything but pepperoni but I ate some and it was really good! I only had one piece. My weight has stayed about 177lb now all this time. With the weather cooling off now, I should start walking again to see if I could lose more.
Tomorrow I will be home all day. A Humera rep is coming over at 2pm to tell me about the different Medicare plans they have so I can see if any of them will fit for me as a secondary insurance since it is open enrollment. But I plan on starting to wash and dry the material I bought to make hubby's night pants for his birthday out of.
I met with Steve and we talked about all the things I had done this week with hubby to get my focus on us instead of on Cassie. Told him about the dinner at Fazoli's, the movie he slept through and roller derby. While we were talking, Cassie called! But I was in the middle of my session, so I sent the call to voicemail. I asked Steve if this what normal parents did, deal with their kids when it was convenient to them, not answer their calls if it was in the middle of something. Not contact them just to think they are talking to them often. He said that when children leave the home, the parents have to shift their focus onto themselves, live their life for them as the children aren't dependent on them full time anymore. It's ok to self-centric. I feel good. I celebrated having Cassie finally contact me on her own.
When I was done with therapy, I got in my car then listened to my voicemail. Cassie said that she had been super busy last week but things had slowed down now and she was wondering how I was and I could call her back. So I did. We talked for about 8 minutes about all the stuff we had done last week and what she was doing, how she and Drew had gotten sick from another person who had moved into the house. Drew was home sick again today but she had to work. There are 8 people living in the house now and it's really crowded. Then she couldn't figure out which mailbox was her work mailbox and it was really windy outside so she had to go. So I told her I loved her and hung up. Then I drove home. When I got home, I took a pic in the car of me smiling with my head scarf showing and texted it to her with I Love You.
I got in the house and asked hubby if he wanted to go to the library with me, to see The Friends of the Library. I wanted to see if they had any Donna Andrews, Joanne Fluke or Janet Evonavich books. I also wanted to find out what days and times the book sale was this week. But hubby didn't want to go, so we ate lunch first and then I went.
There were none of the books that I was looking for but I did find a book on the history of the first 200 years of advertising in a big hardback with the book cover still on. I bought it for hubby for Christmas, as I already had stuff for him for his birthday. But maybe I will give it to him for his birthday. We'll see.
When I got home, hubby and I spent a little bit of time together just talking about what I had told Steve and making more plans for the weekend. I'm going to the book sale on Friday when it opens at 4pm to 7pm. I won't be there that late, maybe but he will be working late and doesn't mind if I do. It's for members only on Friday. Then I won't go on Saturday but will go on Sunday when it's fill a paper grocery bag for $5. And I know how to pack them, so hubby is going to go with me for that. We will get a lot of bags of books, because I take some into the used book stores for trade and also sell them at my garage sales. I didn't have one this year but will next year.
Then hubby went off to get his skin check at the dermatology department and go into work. I puttered around the house then went to visit Janice. We talked for a little while and found out she wants to sell her house for $200,000. I'm thinking Good Luck! as the houses around here are about $175,000, maybe. And they only have a one car garage. But they really want to move so we will see. She doesn't want to list the house until after the holidays though. I gave her some suggestions of things that my mom used to do when they would get transferred to a new place so she could check out places in Florida where they would consider moving to find crime rate and employment and stuff.
Hubby came home at 7pm and we took the chicken out to grill it and the gas was empty. So we turned on the oven when Frank suggested getting a pizza. I suggested Papa Murphy's, the take and bake place, as they have $10 Tuesdays. Any sized pizza up to large with any toppings for only $10. So he and Frank went there. They got the Family Sized for $12. Meat Lovers. I normally don't get anything but pepperoni but I ate some and it was really good! I only had one piece. My weight has stayed about 177lb now all this time. With the weather cooling off now, I should start walking again to see if I could lose more.
Tomorrow I will be home all day. A Humera rep is coming over at 2pm to tell me about the different Medicare plans they have so I can see if any of them will fit for me as a secondary insurance since it is open enrollment. But I plan on starting to wash and dry the material I bought to make hubby's night pants for his birthday out of.
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Saturday, October 24, 2015
Today was a slow day. I woke up around 930am. Hubby said yesterday that if I let him sleep in, he would go with me to Joanne's fabric store and to Willowstone Antique Market. So I got up, nuked some french toast sticks for breakfast since I was out of yogurt, and came back to bed to read while hubby was sleeping. He rolled over and told me I could turn on the tv, but I was happy with my Donna Andrews book. I also turned on the heat as it was really chilly this morning.
Hubby woke up about 11am. Since Frank was still sleeping, he took some time to spend it alone in his office on the computer. I stayed upstairs and watched an episode of seaason 4 of Project Runway Australia. Eventually we got dressed and out of the house.
I was looking for a specific fleece print at Joanne's but it wasn't there anymore. Hubby did find some cotton he liked a lot he wanted night pants made out of but the wait to get the fabric cut was over an hour, so I told him I would come back during the week and get it then.
We went to Willowstone. The place is bigger than a football field. We started at one end and walked around, putting stuff in the cart that I was considering for the Church Bingo lunch on Monday. I needed a $10 gift. What I finally found was two stuffed cloth pumpkins and a fall sign. Both were for autumn so could be used for decorations through Thanksgiving. Cute! I got a bag of pumpkin picks to use in flowers, wreaths or decorations too and the total was only $7.50. Walking around more, other stuffed pumpkins I saw were going for $10 each, so I think I did good. I got two ballet dancer doll ornaments for Christmas and some cookbooks. I found a gravy boat shaped like a pig for the kitchen for only $5. Hubby found a Marvel book that was publish with reproductions of different things for $10. I remember when the book came out and it was going for $40 or more.
We picked up Arby's for dinner and ate quickly at home. We had to leave for our date at the Roller Derby. We left at 5pm and got there at 530pm. I thought the game started at 6 but apparently the Bout (what they call the game) didn't start until 7 but the door opened at 6. So we sat in our car in the excellent parking space we got because we were so early, and read our books. Once the doors opened, we went to Will Call and got our tickets. We saved $10 by buying them early online. We wandered into the box seating and the nice lady directed us up to the general seating. She recommended the section we should sit at to get a good view of the whole track and action.
We got the best seats! We were high enough that we could see the whole track and we think we will always do general seating and just get there early! It took us a little while but we got the gist of the game. Hubby filmed some of it and put it on Facebook. He found out that he can do all these neat things with our cell phone cameras! I'm going to have to have him show me how.
The Bout was over by 845pm. It was fun,snacks were reasonably priced and we decided it was a sport that we should definitely follow next year when the season starts back up.
Tomorrow we are going to work on cleaning up the library where Tommy is staying and go through the books to see what to get rid of since the Friends of the Library sale is next week and I plan on buying a shitload of more books.
Hubby woke up about 11am. Since Frank was still sleeping, he took some time to spend it alone in his office on the computer. I stayed upstairs and watched an episode of seaason 4 of Project Runway Australia. Eventually we got dressed and out of the house.
I was looking for a specific fleece print at Joanne's but it wasn't there anymore. Hubby did find some cotton he liked a lot he wanted night pants made out of but the wait to get the fabric cut was over an hour, so I told him I would come back during the week and get it then.
We went to Willowstone. The place is bigger than a football field. We started at one end and walked around, putting stuff in the cart that I was considering for the Church Bingo lunch on Monday. I needed a $10 gift. What I finally found was two stuffed cloth pumpkins and a fall sign. Both were for autumn so could be used for decorations through Thanksgiving. Cute! I got a bag of pumpkin picks to use in flowers, wreaths or decorations too and the total was only $7.50. Walking around more, other stuffed pumpkins I saw were going for $10 each, so I think I did good. I got two ballet dancer doll ornaments for Christmas and some cookbooks. I found a gravy boat shaped like a pig for the kitchen for only $5. Hubby found a Marvel book that was publish with reproductions of different things for $10. I remember when the book came out and it was going for $40 or more.
We picked up Arby's for dinner and ate quickly at home. We had to leave for our date at the Roller Derby. We left at 5pm and got there at 530pm. I thought the game started at 6 but apparently the Bout (what they call the game) didn't start until 7 but the door opened at 6. So we sat in our car in the excellent parking space we got because we were so early, and read our books. Once the doors opened, we went to Will Call and got our tickets. We saved $10 by buying them early online. We wandered into the box seating and the nice lady directed us up to the general seating. She recommended the section we should sit at to get a good view of the whole track and action.
We got the best seats! We were high enough that we could see the whole track and we think we will always do general seating and just get there early! It took us a little while but we got the gist of the game. Hubby filmed some of it and put it on Facebook. He found out that he can do all these neat things with our cell phone cameras! I'm going to have to have him show me how.
The Bout was over by 845pm. It was fun,snacks were reasonably priced and we decided it was a sport that we should definitely follow next year when the season starts back up.
Tomorrow we are going to work on cleaning up the library where Tommy is staying and go through the books to see what to get rid of since the Friends of the Library sale is next week and I plan on buying a shitload of more books.
Friday, October 23, 2015
Friday, October 23, 2015
Today was a dating day. I woke up when hubby woke up to get ready for work. I ran downstairs and wrote out a check for our State Tax payment for hubby to take into work and overnight the check. Then I kissed him goodbye and went back to sleep.
At 930am, Lois called me and asked if I wanted to go to Church Bingo on Monday and I laughed and asked if she would give me a ride. She will so I will. This weekend I will go pick up a $10 gift for a prize. Then I went back to sleep.
At 1030am, I get a call from our doctor's office reminding me of hubby's appointment with the dermatologist. So at that point I decided to stay awake and call hubby at work to remind him. It's during his work day so he needs to make arrangements to take an hour or two off. Adjust his lunch schedule.
I got up and though hubby cleaned off the table for me to make dog biscuits today, I decided to wait until after Quincy and the Rockford Files so I could watch those and then take a shower. Hubby called me back and then asked me out to the movies and dinner after he got off at 5pm. I said yes, sounds like fun.
So I whiled away the rest of my day but didn't bake because I didn't have enough time. When Frank got home, I asked him if he would like to join us, our treat, because he hadn't been out in quite a while. He was too tired and declined, so I asked him to feed the beasties when it was time so we wouldn't have to do it early.
Hubby got home and changed clothes into something more comfortable and then we left. I said "Shoot! I left my book at home and we need to get to the movie early and I was going to read while we waited." Since I don't use our data plan on cell coverage if I can help it, I needed a book. So we stopped at Hooked on Books, one of our used bookstores we frequent. I got another Donna Andrews book, her Meg series. She is a blacksmith in Cearphilly (pronounced Carefully) that solves crimes and murders, I think. It's been a while since I have read the series but I really liked it and want to start collecting her books. Hubby picked up an old Steve Austin series book that he hadn't read before. Book number 2. He has #1 and #3 and the series goes up to 8. Good idea for Christmas!
We traveled onward to Golden Corral, the all-you-can-eat place. For $30, we get drinks, rolls, steak, ham, salad, veggies, dessert and lots of other stuff. We made sure not to stuff ourselves since we were going to the movies right after and neither of us wants to be stuck in the bathroom all night.
We got a space up towards the front of the theater. We were over an hour early and were the first in line. Yeah! We read our respective books while we waited in line then in the theater while waiting for the previews to start. The movie was The Witch Hunter or The Last of the Witch Hunters with Vin Diesel. It was action packed, predictable in some spots and had Micheal Cain playing a trusted confidant. I enjoyed the film and watched every last minute of it, but poor hubby forgot the rule of the working man after a long week, if you sit, you will sleep. He slept through most of the movie. I woke him up a few times for breathing too loud, but he woke up on and off and saw some of it and the end. Afterwards, we agreed to no more movies on a Friday night. Tickets were $10 each! Wow! We usually go to an afternoon movie because they are cheaper by a few dollars but since I haven't paid in a while, hubby said it's only cheaper by a few dollars. I guess that is one of the reasons I mostly watch movies at home on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon!
This afternoon, I texted Cassie. I had a reason so I figured I would. I'm actively looking for a permanent home for Tommy. She knows lots of people up there in Longmont and surrounding areas and can put out the word. She helped us find homes for some of the kittens when Tally had her litter before we could get her fixed, so it was worth a shot. I greeted her, stated what I wanted and told her I loved her. I attached two pictures of Tommy and let it go. She texted me back that she was in a Guild meeting and that she would put up a facebook post on it to help. She missed me and loved me and was sorry she hadn't called. I texted her back no worries. Call if she wanted to catch up sometime and told her what hubby and I were doing tonight and tomorrow. She later sent a picture of her sticking out her tongue and saying she loved me. When I went on facebook later, I found out she posted a message to my wall saying she loved her mommy. I put on there that "I love you too, Puss!" I was pretty proud of myself on how I handled contacting her and holding back on overdoing it.
I'm still feeding our skunks, but now out of sight behind the truck. That means I don't get to see them eating and how they are growing but at least I know they are healthy and well fed. Last night we saw a skunk cross the street in front of our car as we were turning into the drive. He looked fat and happy. I put out water for them too. During the summer, it was hard for find water in our neighborhood for a while. Now that we are getting more rain, it's easier but I still want water and food out for my cats during the day and evening when they are out. And I figure, if the skunks can get a good meal and drink here, they are less likely to tear into someone's garbage or garden.
Tomorrow I have to go back to Joanne's fabric store and see if I can get some fleece for Holly to make into night pants for her husband and then go to American Classic or Willowstone Antique Place to look for a $10 gift for Bingo. Hubby said that if he can sleep in, he will go with me. And at 6pm, we will be downtown at the City Auditorium to watch Roller Derby!
At 930am, Lois called me and asked if I wanted to go to Church Bingo on Monday and I laughed and asked if she would give me a ride. She will so I will. This weekend I will go pick up a $10 gift for a prize. Then I went back to sleep.
At 1030am, I get a call from our doctor's office reminding me of hubby's appointment with the dermatologist. So at that point I decided to stay awake and call hubby at work to remind him. It's during his work day so he needs to make arrangements to take an hour or two off. Adjust his lunch schedule.
I got up and though hubby cleaned off the table for me to make dog biscuits today, I decided to wait until after Quincy and the Rockford Files so I could watch those and then take a shower. Hubby called me back and then asked me out to the movies and dinner after he got off at 5pm. I said yes, sounds like fun.
So I whiled away the rest of my day but didn't bake because I didn't have enough time. When Frank got home, I asked him if he would like to join us, our treat, because he hadn't been out in quite a while. He was too tired and declined, so I asked him to feed the beasties when it was time so we wouldn't have to do it early.
Hubby got home and changed clothes into something more comfortable and then we left. I said "Shoot! I left my book at home and we need to get to the movie early and I was going to read while we waited." Since I don't use our data plan on cell coverage if I can help it, I needed a book. So we stopped at Hooked on Books, one of our used bookstores we frequent. I got another Donna Andrews book, her Meg series. She is a blacksmith in Cearphilly (pronounced Carefully) that solves crimes and murders, I think. It's been a while since I have read the series but I really liked it and want to start collecting her books. Hubby picked up an old Steve Austin series book that he hadn't read before. Book number 2. He has #1 and #3 and the series goes up to 8. Good idea for Christmas!
We traveled onward to Golden Corral, the all-you-can-eat place. For $30, we get drinks, rolls, steak, ham, salad, veggies, dessert and lots of other stuff. We made sure not to stuff ourselves since we were going to the movies right after and neither of us wants to be stuck in the bathroom all night.
We got a space up towards the front of the theater. We were over an hour early and were the first in line. Yeah! We read our respective books while we waited in line then in the theater while waiting for the previews to start. The movie was The Witch Hunter or The Last of the Witch Hunters with Vin Diesel. It was action packed, predictable in some spots and had Micheal Cain playing a trusted confidant. I enjoyed the film and watched every last minute of it, but poor hubby forgot the rule of the working man after a long week, if you sit, you will sleep. He slept through most of the movie. I woke him up a few times for breathing too loud, but he woke up on and off and saw some of it and the end. Afterwards, we agreed to no more movies on a Friday night. Tickets were $10 each! Wow! We usually go to an afternoon movie because they are cheaper by a few dollars but since I haven't paid in a while, hubby said it's only cheaper by a few dollars. I guess that is one of the reasons I mostly watch movies at home on Netflix, Hulu and Amazon!
This afternoon, I texted Cassie. I had a reason so I figured I would. I'm actively looking for a permanent home for Tommy. She knows lots of people up there in Longmont and surrounding areas and can put out the word. She helped us find homes for some of the kittens when Tally had her litter before we could get her fixed, so it was worth a shot. I greeted her, stated what I wanted and told her I loved her. I attached two pictures of Tommy and let it go. She texted me back that she was in a Guild meeting and that she would put up a facebook post on it to help. She missed me and loved me and was sorry she hadn't called. I texted her back no worries. Call if she wanted to catch up sometime and told her what hubby and I were doing tonight and tomorrow. She later sent a picture of her sticking out her tongue and saying she loved me. When I went on facebook later, I found out she posted a message to my wall saying she loved her mommy. I put on there that "I love you too, Puss!" I was pretty proud of myself on how I handled contacting her and holding back on overdoing it.
I'm still feeding our skunks, but now out of sight behind the truck. That means I don't get to see them eating and how they are growing but at least I know they are healthy and well fed. Last night we saw a skunk cross the street in front of our car as we were turning into the drive. He looked fat and happy. I put out water for them too. During the summer, it was hard for find water in our neighborhood for a while. Now that we are getting more rain, it's easier but I still want water and food out for my cats during the day and evening when they are out. And I figure, if the skunks can get a good meal and drink here, they are less likely to tear into someone's garbage or garden.
Tomorrow I have to go back to Joanne's fabric store and see if I can get some fleece for Holly to make into night pants for her husband and then go to American Classic or Willowstone Antique Place to look for a $10 gift for Bingo. Hubby said that if he can sleep in, he will go with me. And at 6pm, we will be downtown at the City Auditorium to watch Roller Derby!
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Thursday, October 22, 2015
Today was an aha day. Hubby was going with me to the gastro doctor, the guy you see about your digestive system. We were getting the results of my colonoscopy biopsy of the inflamed area in my colon. The polyp they removed was the kind that starts with an A and if not removed, can become cancerous. And mine was removed.
So we get to the doctor's at 930am and my appointment is at 10 but they want you there a half an hour early to fill out paperwork the first time. So I did and it did take 20 minutes. Then you have to stand there while the lady makes copies of your driver's license and both your medical cards. Then you have to sign stuff. Then you sit and wait. But not very long.
We get taken back and do all the vitals. Then Dr K comes in shortly after, I didn't have to wait long at all. He had to go back out a few times to get the aides to get him access to all my pathology reports and records. He told me that the pathology report on my biopsy showed that there was no blood flow to that area of bowel and that would happen with my episode of severe constipation I had for the week before the colonoscopy. But never fear, Dr K said more than likely it was healed up by now. By the chronic constipation I have is a concern and we have to do something about it. Because I don't poop everyday, even with taking Miralax every day, and I have instances when I will suddenly have to poop, right then, I have to have a test that involves putting a tube in my rectum, then inflating it to simulate poop. Then they do some measurements. Not really sure what all happens, but that is the gist of it. Bummer! Another thing shoved up my butt!
This is my most humiliating fear. Doctors doing things involving my butt. All my life, I have had nightmares about having to do all the things that I am doing now have have been doing for the last month and a half. So embarrassing. But I am starting to develop thick skin about it and talking about it over and over again, with friends, family and strangers, seems to be doing the trick. Education is important and colonoscopies are important. People need to understand that colon cancer can be prevented, and the host of other problems with your digestive system need to take the stigma out and be discussed.
I dropped hubby off at work after picking up an edible from the pot shop for him,lunch from Panda Express for him and giving him some money. Then I went to meet Holly and Abbie at Yakitori's for lunch. But I was half an hour early so I stopped at Rescued Hearts, the thrift store that give grants to different animal rescue organizations from the profits of the thrift store and donations. I got some more jeans, a dress, a new coat and a couple of other things for $30. Then I went to meet the girls.
When we were done with the visit and lunch, I headed off to Joanne's, the fabric store. I had gotten a new batch of coupons and I could get 60% off a regular priced item. They were having a huge sale on material and fleece. I got enough fleece to make two pairs of night pants for each of us, patterns to make the night pants, thread, drawstrings, winter gloves for $1 a pair, and something else. But only 1 big bag and one little bag, $110! Rough! I really miscalculated what I spent.
When I was done, I called hubby and made arrangements to meet him. I picked him up and we went back to the house. When I was at Yakitori's, I had gotten lunch for him too. I told him how much I had spent and that I had not taken any of my meds today and the stress of the Cassie thing, then the doctor thing, I really had no business shopping. He laughed and said he understood. He was not upset.
He dropped me off and I spent the afternoon and evening waiting for him to come home downstairs on the computer and with the animals. The rattie boys and I played and then I fed the beasties. Frank got his dinner and then hubby came home about 830pm. We were pulling stuff out of the fridge to eat and we came across my lasagna and he said that sounded good. Well I told him to put all the stuff back in and took him to Fazoli's for fresh lasagna.
We got there and it was an hour before they closed at 10. I made him go in before me, and I waited a few minutes. We pretended like we didn't know each other and were attracted. I offered him a coupon for his meal. He got $3 off. Then I ordered my meal and got free desert to share with him. Then he asked to sit with me. There was romantic music playing, Sammy Davis Jr and Barbara Streisand. There was no one else there. They gave us our salads and drink cups, but the salads were in real bowls since we were eating in. There was real, metal silverware. We got our drinks and stuff, then sat down. It was like in the movie where the rich guy rents out the whole restaurant to take his lady to dinner. We ate our salads while the music played. Then they brought us our lasagnas and breadsticks. We ate and talked, laughed. We talked about some of our past marriages and some of the things that didn't work then but were working so right for us. We talked about how much better off we were with each other. We felt good. Then they brought us my dessert, a pumpkin cheesecake with caramel sauce. Hubby got two forks and we fed each other bites. I was falling in love all over again.
We stayed until they closed, talking and laughing. It was refreshing for my heart. And right now, at home, while I am sitting here finishing this blog, he is in the kitchen cleaning off the dining table so I can make dog biscuits tomorrow, playing the song, Your Song by Elton John, and singing it to me. I am so lucky!
So we get to the doctor's at 930am and my appointment is at 10 but they want you there a half an hour early to fill out paperwork the first time. So I did and it did take 20 minutes. Then you have to stand there while the lady makes copies of your driver's license and both your medical cards. Then you have to sign stuff. Then you sit and wait. But not very long.
We get taken back and do all the vitals. Then Dr K comes in shortly after, I didn't have to wait long at all. He had to go back out a few times to get the aides to get him access to all my pathology reports and records. He told me that the pathology report on my biopsy showed that there was no blood flow to that area of bowel and that would happen with my episode of severe constipation I had for the week before the colonoscopy. But never fear, Dr K said more than likely it was healed up by now. By the chronic constipation I have is a concern and we have to do something about it. Because I don't poop everyday, even with taking Miralax every day, and I have instances when I will suddenly have to poop, right then, I have to have a test that involves putting a tube in my rectum, then inflating it to simulate poop. Then they do some measurements. Not really sure what all happens, but that is the gist of it. Bummer! Another thing shoved up my butt!
This is my most humiliating fear. Doctors doing things involving my butt. All my life, I have had nightmares about having to do all the things that I am doing now have have been doing for the last month and a half. So embarrassing. But I am starting to develop thick skin about it and talking about it over and over again, with friends, family and strangers, seems to be doing the trick. Education is important and colonoscopies are important. People need to understand that colon cancer can be prevented, and the host of other problems with your digestive system need to take the stigma out and be discussed.
I dropped hubby off at work after picking up an edible from the pot shop for him,lunch from Panda Express for him and giving him some money. Then I went to meet Holly and Abbie at Yakitori's for lunch. But I was half an hour early so I stopped at Rescued Hearts, the thrift store that give grants to different animal rescue organizations from the profits of the thrift store and donations. I got some more jeans, a dress, a new coat and a couple of other things for $30. Then I went to meet the girls.
When we were done with the visit and lunch, I headed off to Joanne's, the fabric store. I had gotten a new batch of coupons and I could get 60% off a regular priced item. They were having a huge sale on material and fleece. I got enough fleece to make two pairs of night pants for each of us, patterns to make the night pants, thread, drawstrings, winter gloves for $1 a pair, and something else. But only 1 big bag and one little bag, $110! Rough! I really miscalculated what I spent.
When I was done, I called hubby and made arrangements to meet him. I picked him up and we went back to the house. When I was at Yakitori's, I had gotten lunch for him too. I told him how much I had spent and that I had not taken any of my meds today and the stress of the Cassie thing, then the doctor thing, I really had no business shopping. He laughed and said he understood. He was not upset.
He dropped me off and I spent the afternoon and evening waiting for him to come home downstairs on the computer and with the animals. The rattie boys and I played and then I fed the beasties. Frank got his dinner and then hubby came home about 830pm. We were pulling stuff out of the fridge to eat and we came across my lasagna and he said that sounded good. Well I told him to put all the stuff back in and took him to Fazoli's for fresh lasagna.
We got there and it was an hour before they closed at 10. I made him go in before me, and I waited a few minutes. We pretended like we didn't know each other and were attracted. I offered him a coupon for his meal. He got $3 off. Then I ordered my meal and got free desert to share with him. Then he asked to sit with me. There was romantic music playing, Sammy Davis Jr and Barbara Streisand. There was no one else there. They gave us our salads and drink cups, but the salads were in real bowls since we were eating in. There was real, metal silverware. We got our drinks and stuff, then sat down. It was like in the movie where the rich guy rents out the whole restaurant to take his lady to dinner. We ate our salads while the music played. Then they brought us our lasagnas and breadsticks. We ate and talked, laughed. We talked about some of our past marriages and some of the things that didn't work then but were working so right for us. We talked about how much better off we were with each other. We felt good. Then they brought us my dessert, a pumpkin cheesecake with caramel sauce. Hubby got two forks and we fed each other bites. I was falling in love all over again.
We stayed until they closed, talking and laughing. It was refreshing for my heart. And right now, at home, while I am sitting here finishing this blog, he is in the kitchen cleaning off the dining table so I can make dog biscuits tomorrow, playing the song, Your Song by Elton John, and singing it to me. I am so lucky!
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Today was a good day. Hubby was going to Denver today and wanted to get into the school early before he left, so he was up and getting ready when I woke up at 9am. He left about 930 to go into the Colorado Springs office. I got up, ate some yogurt and drank a cola while watching another episode of Project Runway Australia. It's a little bizarre. They are more conservative there and this is in the 2000s. The hemlines are longer, around the knee, and the tops are conservative. There are some shorter skirts but that just doesn't seem to the the normal.
I fed the beasties and spent some time in with Tommy. I had the door open so the dogs could see him and he could see the dogs. Since the dogs were behaving themselves, not barking at him, I left the door open with the gate up when I left. I stayed upstairs for a little while until hubby came home for lunch. He had gone and come back from Denver, calling me on his way up to tell me that he loved me and was sorry I was having such a difficult time. When he came home, it was around 4pm so he heated up stew and I heated up soup and we ate an early dinner together.
I told him that I was doing better today. My shift on perspective, that Cassie was an adult now and had taken a different path, was working. I hadn't cried today and when I was telling my cousin about what happened, I was able to do it without emotion. We talked about the possibility of taking a weekend trip out to Albuquerque, NM for our granddaughter's 2nd birthday next month. Making it more of a getaway for us and only seeing the kids for a couple of hours.
I was texting with Holly and talking about presents for Christmas and for hubby's birthday when I remembered we were just talking about roller derby. Hubby and I,not Holly. I did a google search for that in Colorado Springs to see if they were playing in November so maybe I could get tickets for his birthday. But they were having their final game this Saturday, so I looked to see how much the tickets were, only $10 for general seating! Plus $1.82 each for processing for buying online. So I called hubby up at work and told him what I found. I asked him if he wanted to go this weekend and he said yes, it sounded like fun. So when I hung up, I got my credit card and bought the tickets. $23.64 and they will be at will call at the city auditorium the night of the bout. That's what a roller derby game is called, a bout. And it is The Pikes Peak Derby Dames is the organization. There are 5 home teams in Colorado Springs. And they play on a flat track. And there are guys who are called Girl Catchers. It sounds like a lot of fun! The bout is this Saturday at 6pm. Yeah for the start of this new life!
Tomorrow is my appointment with Peak Gastro about the results I'm pretty nervous. I had forgotten about the appointment until I looked at the calendar tonight to write down the bout on Saturday. Good thing I looked, huh?
I fed the beasties and spent some time in with Tommy. I had the door open so the dogs could see him and he could see the dogs. Since the dogs were behaving themselves, not barking at him, I left the door open with the gate up when I left. I stayed upstairs for a little while until hubby came home for lunch. He had gone and come back from Denver, calling me on his way up to tell me that he loved me and was sorry I was having such a difficult time. When he came home, it was around 4pm so he heated up stew and I heated up soup and we ate an early dinner together.
I told him that I was doing better today. My shift on perspective, that Cassie was an adult now and had taken a different path, was working. I hadn't cried today and when I was telling my cousin about what happened, I was able to do it without emotion. We talked about the possibility of taking a weekend trip out to Albuquerque, NM for our granddaughter's 2nd birthday next month. Making it more of a getaway for us and only seeing the kids for a couple of hours.
I was texting with Holly and talking about presents for Christmas and for hubby's birthday when I remembered we were just talking about roller derby. Hubby and I,not Holly. I did a google search for that in Colorado Springs to see if they were playing in November so maybe I could get tickets for his birthday. But they were having their final game this Saturday, so I looked to see how much the tickets were, only $10 for general seating! Plus $1.82 each for processing for buying online. So I called hubby up at work and told him what I found. I asked him if he wanted to go this weekend and he said yes, it sounded like fun. So when I hung up, I got my credit card and bought the tickets. $23.64 and they will be at will call at the city auditorium the night of the bout. That's what a roller derby game is called, a bout. And it is The Pikes Peak Derby Dames is the organization. There are 5 home teams in Colorado Springs. And they play on a flat track. And there are guys who are called Girl Catchers. It sounds like a lot of fun! The bout is this Saturday at 6pm. Yeah for the start of this new life!
Tomorrow is my appointment with Peak Gastro about the results I'm pretty nervous. I had forgotten about the appointment until I looked at the calendar tonight to write down the bout on Saturday. Good thing I looked, huh?
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Tuesday, October 20, 2015
Today was a crying day. I've been avoiding writing because of the conflicting and hurting emotions that have been going on inside me because of what I have observed with my daughter over the past week. And longer, most of her life. A couple of days ago, it all came to a head for me and I just wanted to scream, cry, tear my hair out, throw myself on the bonfire.
Cassie is living in her in-laws' house with her husband. It started when she was living up in Longmont, Colorado and moved into their house before her then boyfriend was due to move back to the state. He was in the Army and stationed overseas. He was due to get out and come back home to live and go to school. Well, he and Cass decided to get married and live together when he got back, so she moved into his parents' townhouse. She and Becky, his mom, got really close. They hung out, do things together, eat together and more. When Drew came back, it was a good time all around. He started in school, worked a little and Cassie started working two jobs.
I'm not saying that everything was super okey dokey, Cassie had her moments of adjusting with Drew and fitting in, but always seemed really happy with Becky and Jerry, the parents. The kids got married, Becky and Jerry got remarried and then Jerry got a wonderful opportunity to move over to Italy and work that part of the world for his company as a VP. Congratulations! Everybody was excited. The kids and one of their daughters decided to stay in the house and take care of it for the next 3-5 years, pay rent, and save up for places of their own when the parents come back. Good job. But Becky went there but came back because you need citizenship to stay for that long in Italy and Becky is waiting for it to come through.
So the week before last, Becky decides to take a trip to Newport Beach, California. Now according to Cassie, Cassie didn't know she was going until the day before they left, last Sunday. Here's where I start to realize what is going on, or actually, finally get a clue. I call Cassie on Sunday and find out she is heading out of state and left. She is with Becky and becky's best friend, heading to visit Becky's family, and I take it, where Becky grew up. Cassie is a surprise to meet the family that was unable to come out for the wedding. Cassie and I start to talk when they stop for food. We cut our conversation short. This was the first time I had talked to Cass since her birthday, September 21st, when we went up to take her out on the 22nd. We had exchanged a few text messages, rather, I had texted her and she would give me "Love ya" on a couple.
So I texted her a couple of times and I got a picture from her once, and a short text conversation with a video another time. I got on Facebook and see what pictures she had posted of her trip. There are lots. I page through them, like most of them, comment on a few. But there are things like "Let me tell you about my best friend..." with a picture of Becky. Lots of posts about Cassie and her "Momma". And I see green.
Now I recognize this is my problem. I see my daughter having a close, personal relationship on a daily basis with her mother-in-law. It's the type of relationship I have always wanted to have with her and I'm jealous. I'm hurt. Because I can't even have a simple phone conversation with her without her cutting me off and telling me she has other things she has to do. She's not sharing her day with me, she's not telling me what is going on in her life. She's not even texting me anything. I'm broken.
I cry. I want to move to New Zealand.
I have my therapy session with Steve today, and I tell him all about it. He asks if I could approach this with Cassie and I tell him no. If I was to try, I could only see this going down in one of two ways. Cassie would be furious and hang up on me. Cassie would feel guilty. And neither of those two things would accomplish anything. And let's face it, what I really want is for Cassie to want to be as close to me, talk to me every day, share with me, be happy with me. And I have tried for a long time to force this to happen. I text every day or every other day, only once, but I do. I call occasionally. I send her stuff in the mail, little gifts. We go up to visit every couple of months. If Cassie had wanted to have the same close relationship with me as she has with Becky, she would have done it by now. She would respond to my texts. She would call me. She would put up a post with my picture in it on Facebook and say what a great mommah, as she called me when she was little, I was. But she never has. I take that back, she did it once. It was really cool!
By the end of the session, and the end of the tissue box, I had come to the conclusion that I have been forcing my idea of what kind of relationship I want to have on her, and I have to stop. Obviously she doesn't feel the same way and I have to let her go, in my head and mind. I have to accept what she has been telling me and back off, stop pushing. She can't be the center of my world anymore. I have to change my view on what is the most important thing in the world to me.
I have to accept that she chose to move up to Longmont with her dad when she was 15. That when she did come back, we didn't get along. Granted, I was getting therapy and started on medication for my disorders and wasn't coping the best during all this time. But then she chose to move back up there to Longmont, the same town as her dad. When she was not making enough money to pay her rent, we paid it for her. When her roommate moved out, we paid their part of the rent until the end of the lease and told her she had to move back home. But instead, she moved in with her best friend in that dad's house. We stopped helping her financially because we were having money problems of our own. We bought her an iPad and paid the monthly fee and Netflix account so she would have something to do in her spare time. I've always tried to make things the best they can be on what little money we have had. And I've always tried to be there for her, even before she ever needed.
I never go anyplace without my cell phone. I keep it on me day and night, in case Cassie called and needs to talk or gets hurt. Before I had cell phones, I had call waiting and always let whoever Cassie was with know where I was.
But now I have to let my dream of having this type of relationship with Cassie die. I have to give up the hope I have had since she was born, and before. Today I am grieving this death. Hubby came home and took me out to dinner and we talked, rather, I talked and he listened. He asked some questions and shared with me the bitter disappointment he has about the distant relationship he has with his own daughters, the twins. He asked me how I could change my focus, give up my hope. I told him I just have to morn today, cry myself out today, but tomorrow I will take it day by day. And when I catch myself thinking that I will do things a certain way for Cassie, I will tell myself, she has her own life and now I have mine. If I'm going to do something for anybody, do it for hubby and me.
Tomorrow I will move on.
Cassie is living in her in-laws' house with her husband. It started when she was living up in Longmont, Colorado and moved into their house before her then boyfriend was due to move back to the state. He was in the Army and stationed overseas. He was due to get out and come back home to live and go to school. Well, he and Cass decided to get married and live together when he got back, so she moved into his parents' townhouse. She and Becky, his mom, got really close. They hung out, do things together, eat together and more. When Drew came back, it was a good time all around. He started in school, worked a little and Cassie started working two jobs.
I'm not saying that everything was super okey dokey, Cassie had her moments of adjusting with Drew and fitting in, but always seemed really happy with Becky and Jerry, the parents. The kids got married, Becky and Jerry got remarried and then Jerry got a wonderful opportunity to move over to Italy and work that part of the world for his company as a VP. Congratulations! Everybody was excited. The kids and one of their daughters decided to stay in the house and take care of it for the next 3-5 years, pay rent, and save up for places of their own when the parents come back. Good job. But Becky went there but came back because you need citizenship to stay for that long in Italy and Becky is waiting for it to come through.
So the week before last, Becky decides to take a trip to Newport Beach, California. Now according to Cassie, Cassie didn't know she was going until the day before they left, last Sunday. Here's where I start to realize what is going on, or actually, finally get a clue. I call Cassie on Sunday and find out she is heading out of state and left. She is with Becky and becky's best friend, heading to visit Becky's family, and I take it, where Becky grew up. Cassie is a surprise to meet the family that was unable to come out for the wedding. Cassie and I start to talk when they stop for food. We cut our conversation short. This was the first time I had talked to Cass since her birthday, September 21st, when we went up to take her out on the 22nd. We had exchanged a few text messages, rather, I had texted her and she would give me "Love ya" on a couple.
So I texted her a couple of times and I got a picture from her once, and a short text conversation with a video another time. I got on Facebook and see what pictures she had posted of her trip. There are lots. I page through them, like most of them, comment on a few. But there are things like "Let me tell you about my best friend..." with a picture of Becky. Lots of posts about Cassie and her "Momma". And I see green.
Now I recognize this is my problem. I see my daughter having a close, personal relationship on a daily basis with her mother-in-law. It's the type of relationship I have always wanted to have with her and I'm jealous. I'm hurt. Because I can't even have a simple phone conversation with her without her cutting me off and telling me she has other things she has to do. She's not sharing her day with me, she's not telling me what is going on in her life. She's not even texting me anything. I'm broken.
I cry. I want to move to New Zealand.
I have my therapy session with Steve today, and I tell him all about it. He asks if I could approach this with Cassie and I tell him no. If I was to try, I could only see this going down in one of two ways. Cassie would be furious and hang up on me. Cassie would feel guilty. And neither of those two things would accomplish anything. And let's face it, what I really want is for Cassie to want to be as close to me, talk to me every day, share with me, be happy with me. And I have tried for a long time to force this to happen. I text every day or every other day, only once, but I do. I call occasionally. I send her stuff in the mail, little gifts. We go up to visit every couple of months. If Cassie had wanted to have the same close relationship with me as she has with Becky, she would have done it by now. She would respond to my texts. She would call me. She would put up a post with my picture in it on Facebook and say what a great mommah, as she called me when she was little, I was. But she never has. I take that back, she did it once. It was really cool!
By the end of the session, and the end of the tissue box, I had come to the conclusion that I have been forcing my idea of what kind of relationship I want to have on her, and I have to stop. Obviously she doesn't feel the same way and I have to let her go, in my head and mind. I have to accept what she has been telling me and back off, stop pushing. She can't be the center of my world anymore. I have to change my view on what is the most important thing in the world to me.
I have to accept that she chose to move up to Longmont with her dad when she was 15. That when she did come back, we didn't get along. Granted, I was getting therapy and started on medication for my disorders and wasn't coping the best during all this time. But then she chose to move back up there to Longmont, the same town as her dad. When she was not making enough money to pay her rent, we paid it for her. When her roommate moved out, we paid their part of the rent until the end of the lease and told her she had to move back home. But instead, she moved in with her best friend in that dad's house. We stopped helping her financially because we were having money problems of our own. We bought her an iPad and paid the monthly fee and Netflix account so she would have something to do in her spare time. I've always tried to make things the best they can be on what little money we have had. And I've always tried to be there for her, even before she ever needed.
I never go anyplace without my cell phone. I keep it on me day and night, in case Cassie called and needs to talk or gets hurt. Before I had cell phones, I had call waiting and always let whoever Cassie was with know where I was.
But now I have to let my dream of having this type of relationship with Cassie die. I have to give up the hope I have had since she was born, and before. Today I am grieving this death. Hubby came home and took me out to dinner and we talked, rather, I talked and he listened. He asked some questions and shared with me the bitter disappointment he has about the distant relationship he has with his own daughters, the twins. He asked me how I could change my focus, give up my hope. I told him I just have to morn today, cry myself out today, but tomorrow I will take it day by day. And when I catch myself thinking that I will do things a certain way for Cassie, I will tell myself, she has her own life and now I have mine. If I'm going to do something for anybody, do it for hubby and me.
Tomorrow I will move on.
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
Today was a steady day. The alarm went off and hubby woke me up. He was driving the UHaul truck straight to Denver today, not going by the school here in the Springs at all, and didn't have to be up there until 11am. So when the alarm went off at 830am, we both woke up but didn't move for a little bit. We laid there having a nice, general early morning conversation. Then he got up and get ready, fed the beasties and I looked at the calendar to see if I really had a Prayer Shawl Meeting today or not. Not. It was last week. So I missed it again. Bummer. But that meant that I got to stay home and read. And watch Quincy.
While Quincy was on, I called over to Janice, my across the street neighbor, and asked if she wanted to go to Yakitori's for lunch today instead of tomorrow. She said her husband wanted her out in the backyard digging in the dirt area to remove small rocks today so he can plant grass next year. He thinks of all these things for her to do at the house so she won't have an affair while she is out of work. Asshole. When he gets drunk, which happens all the time, you can hear the yelling from him to her across the street, accusing her of sleeping around like his first wife. Don't understand their relationship. But she asked me to come over and read to her while she did that since she didn't have anything to take outside to listen to. I told her I would after Quincy was over.
I ate some soup for lunch and then went over. She was just sitting down for lunch so we chatted while it heated up and then she ate. I had brought over a new series that I was going to read, a murder mystery book that involves sewing. Fun! I love books that have crafts as part of their story line and currently I am into murder mysteries, like the Joanne Fluke books I have been reading and finished.
When she was ready, we went outside and I read to her for an hour while she dug through the dirt to remove small rocks. There really wasn't that many but it was her job, so she had to do it. After an hour, I told her that with the hour and a half she had done in the morning and the hour now, that was enough. She should go inside and work on her photo albums like she wanted.
Before I left, she told me she was making stuffed peppers for dinner and I asked to watch her because it had been 20 years since I have made them and that sounded really good for dinner. She takes a pound of hamburger,mixes in a box of Rice-a-Roni, Beef flavored, and the seasoning packet. Then she adds an egg, onion flakes, salt, and pepper. She mixes it all up and then puts it in 4 hollowed out green bell peppers. She puts those in a deep pot and covers them with a large bottle of V8. Then she simmers them on the stove top. Half way through she cuts the peppers in half. I took my leave.
I drove over to Holly's to deliver a Halloween book that my mom had made for her costume but then gave to me to give to Holly. Holly is a Halloween freak and I knew she would love it. So I dropped it off for when she got home.
Next I drove over to King Soopers. I sat in the parking lot and called my mom. I aksed her how to make stuffed peppers because I remembered her making them in the oven with white rice. She advised me to get minute rice to use if I was going to put it in the hamburger in the peppers. Or just make it on the side. I went in and bought the peppers, 4 green ones for me and Frank, and two orange ones for hubby as he doesn't like the green ones. I got a large bottle of chopped garlic, minced dried onions and some stewing beef to make a stew. But I forgot to get the minute rice.
When I got home, I cut the peppers in half, washed them out after I seeded them and removed the white parts. Then I put them in two pans that I sprayed with a PAM like cooking spray. I got a big bowl and mixed one and a half pound of hamburger with heaping tablespoon of crushed garlic, a big pour of minced onions, big splooch of ketchup, another big splooch of mustard, two eggs, a couple of dashes of worcester sauce, and salt and pepper. Then I added in a big handful of dried parsley and some basil. And paprika. Then I torn a bunch of old sourdough bread slices in tiny pieces and put them in and mixed it up really well. I divided the meat between all the pepper halves. The last thing I did was pour a big bottle of V8 in the two pans and top them with foil. I put them in the oven at 375 degrees for an hour and a half. Then I made 6 cups of rice to go with it.
While it was cooking, I fed the animals and took Tommy his food. Tommy, our stray cat we are fostering, is doing well. He's not running under the futon anymore when we come in the room. He loves to be petted and talked to. I use a mixture of the pate canned cat food and the meat chunks in gravy. I mix them together and he really likes it. I think I will start doing that for the rest of the cats and see how they like it. Most of them just lick the gravy off the chunks of meat. But I spent about 45 minutes with him, playing and reading.
Hubby called that he was back in the Springs at the school, reloading more stuff for Saturday since he was off on Friday. I told him dinner was ready but I would keep it warm for him and we were waiting to eat until he got home. He hurried and got home. The three of us sat down and ate. I loved it, it was just like what I remembered expect for the rice not being in the meat. But once I cut up the pepper with the meat in it, I put a layer of rice over it, ladled the cooked V8 over it and it was what I was craving. YUM! And even though I got tow peppers for each of us, making 4 halves each, we each only ate one, so plenty of leftovers.
So tomorrow hubby and I are going out with Janice to Yakitori's for lunch, then hubby and I have to go to Costco for cat food. We might go see a movie if anything sounds good, or go out to dinner later.
While Quincy was on, I called over to Janice, my across the street neighbor, and asked if she wanted to go to Yakitori's for lunch today instead of tomorrow. She said her husband wanted her out in the backyard digging in the dirt area to remove small rocks today so he can plant grass next year. He thinks of all these things for her to do at the house so she won't have an affair while she is out of work. Asshole. When he gets drunk, which happens all the time, you can hear the yelling from him to her across the street, accusing her of sleeping around like his first wife. Don't understand their relationship. But she asked me to come over and read to her while she did that since she didn't have anything to take outside to listen to. I told her I would after Quincy was over.
I ate some soup for lunch and then went over. She was just sitting down for lunch so we chatted while it heated up and then she ate. I had brought over a new series that I was going to read, a murder mystery book that involves sewing. Fun! I love books that have crafts as part of their story line and currently I am into murder mysteries, like the Joanne Fluke books I have been reading and finished.
When she was ready, we went outside and I read to her for an hour while she dug through the dirt to remove small rocks. There really wasn't that many but it was her job, so she had to do it. After an hour, I told her that with the hour and a half she had done in the morning and the hour now, that was enough. She should go inside and work on her photo albums like she wanted.
Before I left, she told me she was making stuffed peppers for dinner and I asked to watch her because it had been 20 years since I have made them and that sounded really good for dinner. She takes a pound of hamburger,mixes in a box of Rice-a-Roni, Beef flavored, and the seasoning packet. Then she adds an egg, onion flakes, salt, and pepper. She mixes it all up and then puts it in 4 hollowed out green bell peppers. She puts those in a deep pot and covers them with a large bottle of V8. Then she simmers them on the stove top. Half way through she cuts the peppers in half. I took my leave.
I drove over to Holly's to deliver a Halloween book that my mom had made for her costume but then gave to me to give to Holly. Holly is a Halloween freak and I knew she would love it. So I dropped it off for when she got home.
Next I drove over to King Soopers. I sat in the parking lot and called my mom. I aksed her how to make stuffed peppers because I remembered her making them in the oven with white rice. She advised me to get minute rice to use if I was going to put it in the hamburger in the peppers. Or just make it on the side. I went in and bought the peppers, 4 green ones for me and Frank, and two orange ones for hubby as he doesn't like the green ones. I got a large bottle of chopped garlic, minced dried onions and some stewing beef to make a stew. But I forgot to get the minute rice.
When I got home, I cut the peppers in half, washed them out after I seeded them and removed the white parts. Then I put them in two pans that I sprayed with a PAM like cooking spray. I got a big bowl and mixed one and a half pound of hamburger with heaping tablespoon of crushed garlic, a big pour of minced onions, big splooch of ketchup, another big splooch of mustard, two eggs, a couple of dashes of worcester sauce, and salt and pepper. Then I added in a big handful of dried parsley and some basil. And paprika. Then I torn a bunch of old sourdough bread slices in tiny pieces and put them in and mixed it up really well. I divided the meat between all the pepper halves. The last thing I did was pour a big bottle of V8 in the two pans and top them with foil. I put them in the oven at 375 degrees for an hour and a half. Then I made 6 cups of rice to go with it.
While it was cooking, I fed the animals and took Tommy his food. Tommy, our stray cat we are fostering, is doing well. He's not running under the futon anymore when we come in the room. He loves to be petted and talked to. I use a mixture of the pate canned cat food and the meat chunks in gravy. I mix them together and he really likes it. I think I will start doing that for the rest of the cats and see how they like it. Most of them just lick the gravy off the chunks of meat. But I spent about 45 minutes with him, playing and reading.
Hubby called that he was back in the Springs at the school, reloading more stuff for Saturday since he was off on Friday. I told him dinner was ready but I would keep it warm for him and we were waiting to eat until he got home. He hurried and got home. The three of us sat down and ate. I loved it, it was just like what I remembered expect for the rice not being in the meat. But once I cut up the pepper with the meat in it, I put a layer of rice over it, ladled the cooked V8 over it and it was what I was craving. YUM! And even though I got tow peppers for each of us, making 4 halves each, we each only ate one, so plenty of leftovers.
So tomorrow hubby and I are going out with Janice to Yakitori's for lunch, then hubby and I have to go to Costco for cat food. We might go see a movie if anything sounds good, or go out to dinner later.
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Tuesday, October 13, 2015
Today was a restraint day. I woke up with hubby when the alarm went off and he got ready for work. But then he got a call from his worker and she wouldn't be in again today, so he had to go in later. He hung out in his office for a little, while I sat upstairs, ate my yogurt, drank my cola and read. Then he came up and said that he was just going to go in early and get some overtime. So he kissed me and off he went.
I stayed upstairs and read and watched tv until Janice called. She had some errands to run in 2 hours and wanted me to come along. Sure! I finished reading then jumped in the shower and got ready.
We ran to Kemper Galleries to get an opinion on a picture she had gotten from her parents. She was told that the picture was stuck to the glass and couldn't be taken out to be appraised. The lady at the gallery said that it was a pastel and wasn't stuck to the frame. She referred us to an appraiser and told us she was expensive. She also said the signature was illegible so wouldn't be able to be read or researched. The frame was newer than the time frame that Janice was thinking the age of the picture was. It gave us some clues to it. We got an estimate of how much it would cost to get the picture taken care of and it was very reasonable.
Next we went to Target and Janice bought a bunch of expensive dog food and used a coupon that gave her a $10 gift card for buying it. Since they had decided on this dog food for their boys, she got the coupons from me and another neighbor too. So she is going to go back 2 more times and get the dog food and save $30. This stuff isn't cheap!
She drove us back home and then I came in and ate some chicken wings that had been bbqed. I added more sauce and they were really good. Hubby came home for lunch with some food he had picked up, lunch meat from the deli, special rolls the guys like and soup for my dinner. The boys were going to eat leftovers. There is no room in the fridge for additional dinners yet.
I spent the rest of the day reading and playing with the rattie boys. Then I fed the beasties and went up to spend some time with Tommy while he ate. We spent about 2 hours together. I pet him, he purred, we played until he stopped, then I read to him for over an hour. He really seemed to like it. When hubby got home, he came in the room and spent some time in with us. Then I told Tommy goodnight, turned off the light and left.
Hubby didn't feel like eating leftovers, so he ordered a pizza. He got me a salad for lunch tomorrow but I didn't want any pizza. Tomorrow I have to take him to UHaul and drop him off so he can pick up his truck. It's time for him to do Doctorate again and that means he will be working up in Denver on Thursday and Saturday. I will have the car for the rest of the week. Yeah!
I stayed upstairs and read and watched tv until Janice called. She had some errands to run in 2 hours and wanted me to come along. Sure! I finished reading then jumped in the shower and got ready.
We ran to Kemper Galleries to get an opinion on a picture she had gotten from her parents. She was told that the picture was stuck to the glass and couldn't be taken out to be appraised. The lady at the gallery said that it was a pastel and wasn't stuck to the frame. She referred us to an appraiser and told us she was expensive. She also said the signature was illegible so wouldn't be able to be read or researched. The frame was newer than the time frame that Janice was thinking the age of the picture was. It gave us some clues to it. We got an estimate of how much it would cost to get the picture taken care of and it was very reasonable.
Next we went to Target and Janice bought a bunch of expensive dog food and used a coupon that gave her a $10 gift card for buying it. Since they had decided on this dog food for their boys, she got the coupons from me and another neighbor too. So she is going to go back 2 more times and get the dog food and save $30. This stuff isn't cheap!
She drove us back home and then I came in and ate some chicken wings that had been bbqed. I added more sauce and they were really good. Hubby came home for lunch with some food he had picked up, lunch meat from the deli, special rolls the guys like and soup for my dinner. The boys were going to eat leftovers. There is no room in the fridge for additional dinners yet.
I spent the rest of the day reading and playing with the rattie boys. Then I fed the beasties and went up to spend some time with Tommy while he ate. We spent about 2 hours together. I pet him, he purred, we played until he stopped, then I read to him for over an hour. He really seemed to like it. When hubby got home, he came in the room and spent some time in with us. Then I told Tommy goodnight, turned off the light and left.
Hubby didn't feel like eating leftovers, so he ordered a pizza. He got me a salad for lunch tomorrow but I didn't want any pizza. Tomorrow I have to take him to UHaul and drop him off so he can pick up his truck. It's time for him to do Doctorate again and that means he will be working up in Denver on Thursday and Saturday. I will have the car for the rest of the week. Yeah!
Monday, October 12, 2015
Monday, October 12, 2015
Today was a glorious day. Hubby was going to call into work and take the day off so we could spend another day together and he could sleep in, but his underling called off first, so he went in. I had woke up early and was reading while all this was going on. When he left, I turned on the tv, watched network television and read my Joanne Fluke book.
Later I got up and fed the beasties. I spent some time in with Tommy, our local stray. He was relaxing on the bed,which means he is starting to explore his room, which is really good. I stroked his back while he ate. He likes me to mix the pate canned cat food with the chunky meat in gravy canned cat food. He purrs while he eats and I'm petting him. While I was in there, hubby came home for an early lunch and we sat with Tommy and played with him. He's doing really well and seems to be content. Soon we are going to leave the gate up and open the library door and introduce him to the dogs and other cats, while we are standing there.
Hubby and I went downstairs and ate some soup for lunch. We talked and laughed. Pretty soon though, he had to go back to work. I let the rattie boys out for a little bit, then went back upstairs to read my book.
Hubby came home around 530pm, after stopping at the grocery store and picking me up a couple of more yogurts for breakfast until pay day. We made dinner together. I had defrosted 3 pound of hamburger so we took a pound and a half and put it in a bowl. I seasoned it with onion powder, basil, paprika, Italian seasonings, pepper, chili powder, and salt. He squished it all up with his hands. Then I sprayed a 9x13 pan and he pressed the mixture in the bottom. We opened and spread two cans of Nacho Cheese Soup from Campbells on top. We sprinkled a pound of frozen mixed vegetables over, then put a layer of tater tots on top. I put it in the oven at 400 degrees for an hour, uncovered. The guys really liked it, but I found out that I did not. It's something about the cheese sauce and hamburger.
After dinner, hubby cleaned up and Frank went to bed. I'm going to cut hubby's hair with the electric trimmer before bed. I let the rattie boys out again and gave them some of dinner for their dinner. They seems to like the tater tots but not eating much else right now. They will eat later and I will see if they liked it at all. They don't seem to like the new seed mix I got, too much of it is getting pulled out of the bowl and tossed to the floor.
Later I got up and fed the beasties. I spent some time in with Tommy, our local stray. He was relaxing on the bed,which means he is starting to explore his room, which is really good. I stroked his back while he ate. He likes me to mix the pate canned cat food with the chunky meat in gravy canned cat food. He purrs while he eats and I'm petting him. While I was in there, hubby came home for an early lunch and we sat with Tommy and played with him. He's doing really well and seems to be content. Soon we are going to leave the gate up and open the library door and introduce him to the dogs and other cats, while we are standing there.
Hubby and I went downstairs and ate some soup for lunch. We talked and laughed. Pretty soon though, he had to go back to work. I let the rattie boys out for a little bit, then went back upstairs to read my book.
Hubby came home around 530pm, after stopping at the grocery store and picking me up a couple of more yogurts for breakfast until pay day. We made dinner together. I had defrosted 3 pound of hamburger so we took a pound and a half and put it in a bowl. I seasoned it with onion powder, basil, paprika, Italian seasonings, pepper, chili powder, and salt. He squished it all up with his hands. Then I sprayed a 9x13 pan and he pressed the mixture in the bottom. We opened and spread two cans of Nacho Cheese Soup from Campbells on top. We sprinkled a pound of frozen mixed vegetables over, then put a layer of tater tots on top. I put it in the oven at 400 degrees for an hour, uncovered. The guys really liked it, but I found out that I did not. It's something about the cheese sauce and hamburger.
After dinner, hubby cleaned up and Frank went to bed. I'm going to cut hubby's hair with the electric trimmer before bed. I let the rattie boys out again and gave them some of dinner for their dinner. They seems to like the tater tots but not eating much else right now. They will eat later and I will see if they liked it at all. They don't seem to like the new seed mix I got, too much of it is getting pulled out of the bowl and tossed to the floor.
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Thursday, October 8, 2015
Today was a nothing day. That's right, nothing much happened. Hubby and I woke up before the 1030am alarm and he got ready, fed the beasties and kissed me goodbye. I fed the rattie boys and then checked on Tommy, the stray we are fostering for the time who is living in our library. I've been in there a couple of times today to pet him, talk to him and feed him canned food. He has a bowl of dry cat food and water at all times. He seems to be using the litter box fine.
I spent the day writing down recipes from Joanne Fluke's murder mysteries that I have read and need to return to the library. My shipment of some of her books not available in the library came from Amazon yesterday. 3 of her books to read. I haven't been really reading them in order but have figured out the general gist of it. Hanana Swenson series. But I wanted some of the recipes she has in the books, not all. Generally she has about 12 different recipes in each book. Hubby offered to buy me the cookbook she published but I told him I was fine with writing them down. But if he does it for Christmas or something, that would be nice for my cookbook collection, even though it is a new cookbook and not a vintage one, like most of mine. I even have a cookbook from 1899!
I watched general tv all day while writing down the recipes, so I wouldn't have to pay attention. When I was done, I then put on the finale episode of Project Runway Australia, season 2 on YouTube and watched that again. Then I watched the Reunion Episode of Season 2. Then I started reading one of my new Joanne Fluke books that came. Norman is engaged to Dr Bev because she is forcing him to marry her and give away his cat to Hanana, all because she said she was pregnant when she broke up with him when they were engaged before and never told him about the pregnancy or the baby when she was born. But now, if Norman wants a relationship with his daughter, and he does! He has to marry her and never see Hanana or his cat again! I'm reading the book after this was told and I'm dying to see what happens! I know from books that come farther after this, Norman isn't married so I'm not too worried!
I got dressed in nothing! Haha I stayed in my nightgown and just put on sweat pants when Frank came home so I could walk around the house and feed the beasties.
Tomorrow may be some of the same. But I do think I will spend more time in the library with Tommy, reading to him and maybe sorting through my boxes of stuff.
I spent the day writing down recipes from Joanne Fluke's murder mysteries that I have read and need to return to the library. My shipment of some of her books not available in the library came from Amazon yesterday. 3 of her books to read. I haven't been really reading them in order but have figured out the general gist of it. Hanana Swenson series. But I wanted some of the recipes she has in the books, not all. Generally she has about 12 different recipes in each book. Hubby offered to buy me the cookbook she published but I told him I was fine with writing them down. But if he does it for Christmas or something, that would be nice for my cookbook collection, even though it is a new cookbook and not a vintage one, like most of mine. I even have a cookbook from 1899!
I watched general tv all day while writing down the recipes, so I wouldn't have to pay attention. When I was done, I then put on the finale episode of Project Runway Australia, season 2 on YouTube and watched that again. Then I watched the Reunion Episode of Season 2. Then I started reading one of my new Joanne Fluke books that came. Norman is engaged to Dr Bev because she is forcing him to marry her and give away his cat to Hanana, all because she said she was pregnant when she broke up with him when they were engaged before and never told him about the pregnancy or the baby when she was born. But now, if Norman wants a relationship with his daughter, and he does! He has to marry her and never see Hanana or his cat again! I'm reading the book after this was told and I'm dying to see what happens! I know from books that come farther after this, Norman isn't married so I'm not too worried!
I got dressed in nothing! Haha I stayed in my nightgown and just put on sweat pants when Frank came home so I could walk around the house and feed the beasties.
Tomorrow may be some of the same. But I do think I will spend more time in the library with Tommy, reading to him and maybe sorting through my boxes of stuff.
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Wednesday, October 7, 2015
Today was a hoarder day. Yes, I know what that means and in this case, it's referring to the fact that we now have a 7th cat. At least temporarily.
My day started with me waking up before the 1030am alarm and lying there reading until hubby woke up. Then I sat up, ate my last cherry cinnamon roll and drank my cola while watching more Project Runway Australia on YouTube. I'm in season 2 now! Hubby got ready for work and left after kissing me goodbye. I stayed in my nightshirt and sweats and kept watching PRA, after feeding the animals, of course.
About 1pm, Janice calls me and asks me if I have a minute to come over. I told her I would get dressed and be right there. When I get over there, she explains that since they had gotten new carpet, they tried to let the stray, Hot Dog, in but he got sick and Tim once again reiterated that he was never to be in the house again. So the cat they took in that was a stray, they have fed and got him to trust them, was now back out in the cold. Would I please put him in my house and take care of him.
Now Janice had told me her plan a month ago that they were kicking him out and when they moved away, he would be on his own again. I talked to hubby and we agreed to try and take care of him the best we could but we have 6 cats, one is a fixed male. Hot Dog is familiar with our cats, as they are all almost indoor/outdoor cats and go over to Janice and Tim's. The cats have intermingled before. Hot Dog is wary of our cats and doesn't get too close to them. But we planned on to keep feeding him outside and maybe try to build a cat house outdoors for him to stay in. But today I had Janice carry him over to my house. He had never been inside before, my dogs don't like other cats, so he was a little freaked. I tried to put him in the library but Janice let him out in the house. My dogs tore after him and pinned him, so I put them outside and got him to go upstairs. But then he went under my bed and stayed there. I finally had to get Frank to get the broom and push him down to the end of the bed where I could pick him up and take him into the library. This time I got him in there with the door shut. I left dry cat food, water and canned cat food out for him. He went under the futon and stayed. I figured it will take a few days for him to calm down in there. Once he sees he is alone and no other animal is in there with him, he will calm down and come out. Poor baby! Abandoned, abused, loved and betrayed. We are going to see if our friend, Brent, will consider taking him as a barn cat out at his 5 acre place.
Hubby is pretty tired and looking forward to the weekend. He has to get stuff to reattach the front bumper to our car as it is almost off the car from that hit and run accident at the beginning of the summer. I have a Docent meeting to go to on Saturday and am looking forward to it. I haven't been to one since May!
My day started with me waking up before the 1030am alarm and lying there reading until hubby woke up. Then I sat up, ate my last cherry cinnamon roll and drank my cola while watching more Project Runway Australia on YouTube. I'm in season 2 now! Hubby got ready for work and left after kissing me goodbye. I stayed in my nightshirt and sweats and kept watching PRA, after feeding the animals, of course.
About 1pm, Janice calls me and asks me if I have a minute to come over. I told her I would get dressed and be right there. When I get over there, she explains that since they had gotten new carpet, they tried to let the stray, Hot Dog, in but he got sick and Tim once again reiterated that he was never to be in the house again. So the cat they took in that was a stray, they have fed and got him to trust them, was now back out in the cold. Would I please put him in my house and take care of him.
Now Janice had told me her plan a month ago that they were kicking him out and when they moved away, he would be on his own again. I talked to hubby and we agreed to try and take care of him the best we could but we have 6 cats, one is a fixed male. Hot Dog is familiar with our cats, as they are all almost indoor/outdoor cats and go over to Janice and Tim's. The cats have intermingled before. Hot Dog is wary of our cats and doesn't get too close to them. But we planned on to keep feeding him outside and maybe try to build a cat house outdoors for him to stay in. But today I had Janice carry him over to my house. He had never been inside before, my dogs don't like other cats, so he was a little freaked. I tried to put him in the library but Janice let him out in the house. My dogs tore after him and pinned him, so I put them outside and got him to go upstairs. But then he went under my bed and stayed there. I finally had to get Frank to get the broom and push him down to the end of the bed where I could pick him up and take him into the library. This time I got him in there with the door shut. I left dry cat food, water and canned cat food out for him. He went under the futon and stayed. I figured it will take a few days for him to calm down in there. Once he sees he is alone and no other animal is in there with him, he will calm down and come out. Poor baby! Abandoned, abused, loved and betrayed. We are going to see if our friend, Brent, will consider taking him as a barn cat out at his 5 acre place.
Hubby is pretty tired and looking forward to the weekend. He has to get stuff to reattach the front bumper to our car as it is almost off the car from that hit and run accident at the beginning of the summer. I have a Docent meeting to go to on Saturday and am looking forward to it. I haven't been to one since May!
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
Today was a discovery day. Hubby had to work a 12 hour day today and I had therapy with Steve, so that meant I had to get up and drive him into work. But he set the alarm for 750am and told me I could sleep until 15 minutes before we had to leave since I was not taking a shower and just getting dressed. So I did. I slumbered and then I woke up when he asked me for my phone. He called in work and found out there was a lot of construction on the road and it was closed. So he told them he would be about half an hour late and let me lie there a little longer.
When we got out of the house, we decided to take the Filmore road since we could stop at Kum & Go for drinks and breakfast. I usually get a extra large unsweetened tea but this time I got an extra large Cherry Pepsi. Yum! And I got an omelette sandwich, which they make fresh every morning right there. Then we took a back way into hubby's school and dropped him off. I took the back way a little differently and headed over to therapy.
I met with Steve and I talked to him about sometimes missing the highs I used to get, the giddy joyness I used to feel, when I was unmedicated. The sexual liberation and intense desire I would feel and orgasms I would have. But being medicated, my moods are stable and I don't have those high highs and low lows. And I don't have orgasms anymore. That's one thing they really don't tell you about psych meds, not only can they take away your desire for sex, they take away your ability to acheive orgasms, at least for me. I can still have sex but most of the time when I think about it, it's more about the mess and stuff then about the intimacy of the act and wanting to do it. Can be a real downer for hubby. I try to be aware of this and initiate the act with him on a regular basis whether I am really into it or not, because it is a vital part of a marriage. Hubby knows how I feel and is respectful if I am really not in the mood.
But that was only a little bit about what I talked about. I told him I had passion and really feeling back then. And I wanted to be passionate about something like sewing. Then I started talking about the new/old Project Runways I was watching on YouTube. I have rewatched all 13 seasons of Project Runway here in the USA, I have watched all 3 seasons of Project Runway Canada and they are really mean to their designers! I watched the 3 seasons of Project Catwalk in the UK and now I am watching Project Runway Australia. There are 4 seasons of this, I do believe.
Steve commented that when I am talking about sewing and this show, I do have passion and spark. And we started talking about why I haven't been about to start sewing again. I told him I would have to relearn how to do it all again. I did buy a beginner's manual to reteach myself how to sew. I have my machine sitting out and boxes of material. In my mind, everything has to be perfect for me to start. And I have to be perfect, do it perfectly from the beginning. Make complicated designs and adapt patterns and do all this stuff. Why, he asked. And I told him because my mom does it all so perfectly and right and if I can't do it that way too, then why bothering to try at all? And then we talked about the mom in my head, and how that mom says negative things and I have to acknowledge it isn't really my mom and then try anyway. It's the process of doing that is worth it. It is great to be great at it, but enjoying it is important. Working through and relearning it my way. My real mom, not my head mom, is pretty intense in everything she does. My parents are in their early 70s and they still set the alarm clock to get up early, are too busy with self set schedules of work on the house, in their dog club, projects they have to do, to relax and enjoy being retired. And here I am, on disability, having to relax and take things easy, left to my own devises do a lot of whatever I want. And I compare myself to my parents and think that if I don't do things their way, why should I even attempt to do it mine?
But Steve and I talked and he gave me several things to think about. The process, that my parents way of doing things may be great for them but isn't great for me so I shouldn't attempt to be like them. I should figure out what is the best way for me. And at the end of the session, I promised that I would plug in my sewing machine and make the needle go up and down at least once this week. So there!
It was an intense enough session that when I was done, I walked back out to my car and sat there for an hour and read to decompress. Sewing is scary for me and I haven't been about to use my machine since I bought it. So this will be a big step.
Then I called hubby and asked when he wanted to exchange the car and he told me to come on over. So I stopped at Arby's and got french dips for us, 2 for him and one for me and one of their new sliders. I picked him up and we drove home. He ate one of his sandwiches and I ate the slider, just the right size for me and then I set aside my french dip for Frank for dinner. I would eat some cheese and crackers later for dinner. Hubby went back to work and I went upstairs to watch Project Runway Australia some more for the rest of the evening until it was time to feed the animals.
Tomorrow I'm going to sort through the boxes of stuff hubby removed from my nightstand a couple of days ago and pitch a lot of it. And put away the rest.
When we got out of the house, we decided to take the Filmore road since we could stop at Kum & Go for drinks and breakfast. I usually get a extra large unsweetened tea but this time I got an extra large Cherry Pepsi. Yum! And I got an omelette sandwich, which they make fresh every morning right there. Then we took a back way into hubby's school and dropped him off. I took the back way a little differently and headed over to therapy.
I met with Steve and I talked to him about sometimes missing the highs I used to get, the giddy joyness I used to feel, when I was unmedicated. The sexual liberation and intense desire I would feel and orgasms I would have. But being medicated, my moods are stable and I don't have those high highs and low lows. And I don't have orgasms anymore. That's one thing they really don't tell you about psych meds, not only can they take away your desire for sex, they take away your ability to acheive orgasms, at least for me. I can still have sex but most of the time when I think about it, it's more about the mess and stuff then about the intimacy of the act and wanting to do it. Can be a real downer for hubby. I try to be aware of this and initiate the act with him on a regular basis whether I am really into it or not, because it is a vital part of a marriage. Hubby knows how I feel and is respectful if I am really not in the mood.
But that was only a little bit about what I talked about. I told him I had passion and really feeling back then. And I wanted to be passionate about something like sewing. Then I started talking about the new/old Project Runways I was watching on YouTube. I have rewatched all 13 seasons of Project Runway here in the USA, I have watched all 3 seasons of Project Runway Canada and they are really mean to their designers! I watched the 3 seasons of Project Catwalk in the UK and now I am watching Project Runway Australia. There are 4 seasons of this, I do believe.
Steve commented that when I am talking about sewing and this show, I do have passion and spark. And we started talking about why I haven't been about to start sewing again. I told him I would have to relearn how to do it all again. I did buy a beginner's manual to reteach myself how to sew. I have my machine sitting out and boxes of material. In my mind, everything has to be perfect for me to start. And I have to be perfect, do it perfectly from the beginning. Make complicated designs and adapt patterns and do all this stuff. Why, he asked. And I told him because my mom does it all so perfectly and right and if I can't do it that way too, then why bothering to try at all? And then we talked about the mom in my head, and how that mom says negative things and I have to acknowledge it isn't really my mom and then try anyway. It's the process of doing that is worth it. It is great to be great at it, but enjoying it is important. Working through and relearning it my way. My real mom, not my head mom, is pretty intense in everything she does. My parents are in their early 70s and they still set the alarm clock to get up early, are too busy with self set schedules of work on the house, in their dog club, projects they have to do, to relax and enjoy being retired. And here I am, on disability, having to relax and take things easy, left to my own devises do a lot of whatever I want. And I compare myself to my parents and think that if I don't do things their way, why should I even attempt to do it mine?
But Steve and I talked and he gave me several things to think about. The process, that my parents way of doing things may be great for them but isn't great for me so I shouldn't attempt to be like them. I should figure out what is the best way for me. And at the end of the session, I promised that I would plug in my sewing machine and make the needle go up and down at least once this week. So there!
It was an intense enough session that when I was done, I walked back out to my car and sat there for an hour and read to decompress. Sewing is scary for me and I haven't been about to use my machine since I bought it. So this will be a big step.
Then I called hubby and asked when he wanted to exchange the car and he told me to come on over. So I stopped at Arby's and got french dips for us, 2 for him and one for me and one of their new sliders. I picked him up and we drove home. He ate one of his sandwiches and I ate the slider, just the right size for me and then I set aside my french dip for Frank for dinner. I would eat some cheese and crackers later for dinner. Hubby went back to work and I went upstairs to watch Project Runway Australia some more for the rest of the evening until it was time to feed the animals.
Tomorrow I'm going to sort through the boxes of stuff hubby removed from my nightstand a couple of days ago and pitch a lot of it. And put away the rest.
Monday, October 5, 2015
Monday, October 5, 2015
Today was a Project Runway Day! When I finished watching Project Catwalk, the UK's version of Project Runway, hubby went on YouTube and found so many more countries that had episodes on there. The only problem, the countries, like Vietnam, aren't in English and don't have subtitles. But never fear, we found Project Runway Australia! And it looks like they have 4 seasons, at least. I started watching yesterday.
I woke up today around 1030am, and pet the animals for awhile while watching The Price is Right. Then my favorite old show was on, Quincy. I got a couple of cherry cinnamon rolls for breakfast along with a cola. I fed the beasties and then settled in back upstairs to watch tv. I was putting off getting dressed as I wasn't in a rush today to do anything.
Hubby surprised me by coming home. He is working 12 hour days today and tomorrow since it is the start of the semester, hence they call it Start. There is a rush of students buying books and going to classes, paying bills and so on, so the bookstore and production are super busy from open to close. And since hubby is the manager, he has to be onsite to take care of any problems right away and give great customer service.
So when hubby came home, it surprised and delighted me. He came to get a break, eat, take a shower and then run. But I had other things in mind. I asked him if he had time to put his food in the microwave and come upstairs for a few minutes. Upstairs, upstairs? He asked. I said yes, upstairs to the bedroom. Frank was working and we hadn't been friendly in a long time, awkward as it was trying to get frisky while Frank is in the next room sleeping. So we did.
After showers and dressing, hubby ate some food really quick then set up his iPad to play Project Runway Australia for me for as long as I wanted. Then he kissed me goodbye and left. I settled in to watch. Frank came home and we talked about his day a little bit, then I went back upstairs to watch more. Later I came down and made grilled cheese and ham sandwiches for him and soup for both of us. He had chicken noodle and I had cream of chicken.
Hubby is working late so Frank cleaned the litter boxes and took out the trash. He set the cans on the curb for the trash pick up the next day. I got the bread buttered for hubby's sandwich for when he comes home. I imagine it will be an early night for him as he has to do it all again tomorrow.
I woke up today around 1030am, and pet the animals for awhile while watching The Price is Right. Then my favorite old show was on, Quincy. I got a couple of cherry cinnamon rolls for breakfast along with a cola. I fed the beasties and then settled in back upstairs to watch tv. I was putting off getting dressed as I wasn't in a rush today to do anything.
Hubby surprised me by coming home. He is working 12 hour days today and tomorrow since it is the start of the semester, hence they call it Start. There is a rush of students buying books and going to classes, paying bills and so on, so the bookstore and production are super busy from open to close. And since hubby is the manager, he has to be onsite to take care of any problems right away and give great customer service.
So when hubby came home, it surprised and delighted me. He came to get a break, eat, take a shower and then run. But I had other things in mind. I asked him if he had time to put his food in the microwave and come upstairs for a few minutes. Upstairs, upstairs? He asked. I said yes, upstairs to the bedroom. Frank was working and we hadn't been friendly in a long time, awkward as it was trying to get frisky while Frank is in the next room sleeping. So we did.
After showers and dressing, hubby ate some food really quick then set up his iPad to play Project Runway Australia for me for as long as I wanted. Then he kissed me goodbye and left. I settled in to watch. Frank came home and we talked about his day a little bit, then I went back upstairs to watch more. Later I came down and made grilled cheese and ham sandwiches for him and soup for both of us. He had chicken noodle and I had cream of chicken.
Hubby is working late so Frank cleaned the litter boxes and took out the trash. He set the cans on the curb for the trash pick up the next day. I got the bread buttered for hubby's sandwich for when he comes home. I imagine it will be an early night for him as he has to do it all again tomorrow.
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Saturday, October 3, 2015
Today was a rejuvenation day. I woke up at 6am and laid there for a long time trying to get back to sleep. I had given my dad my nightstand lamp so didn't have anything there to turn on so I could read and stay in bed. I didn't want to watch tv because I was afraid I would wake hubby up and I know he likes to stay up really late, so I finally got up and went downstairs.
I ate some yogurt and shared some with the rattie boys. They ran around and played and when it finally got light enough, I went back up to bed to read and sleep some more. When I could go back to sleep, I did until noon, when both hubby and I woke up. We talked about going to see The Martian, since it came out this weekend. Both of us have read the book and thoroughly enjoyed it. We knew the movie would be different as they wouldn't be able to go into all the details the book did. We got up, dressed and out of the house in short time.
We went to Village Inn for lunch before the movie. I got the Denver omelette and sourdough toast with fresh fruit instead of hashbrowns. I topped it off with cranberry juice to drink, over ice. Yum!
We got to the movie theater in time to get our favorite seats, the ones just at the front but not down in front so close, but with the rail so we can put our feet up. Yeah! We got a large popcorn with enough butter to drown in and got our refillable cup filled. Usually we go through 2 refills of soda but because we just ate and drank a lot, we were fine with just the one.
The Martian with Matt Damon was really good. They did a good job in filtering through all the challenges and details and coming up with just enough on screen to make everyone watching invested in what was going to happen next. I doubt any of the people there had read the book but everyone enjoyed the movie as is. In the book, there really wasn't much, if any, swearing. There was some in the movie. I don't enjoy the swearing. The two and a half hours of the movie seemed to fly by. Not once was there a slow spot or did the character go into too much detail to be over our heads. I whole heartily recommend seeing it. It's a good time. I really recommend buying and reading the book!
We stopped at the grocery store to pick up fruit and milk. Gala apples were on sale for only 88 cents a pound! So I got 10 apples. I got some canned fruit for the rattie boys to try out since it is end of season and there is not much variety. We also picked up some more of King Sooper's homemade soups for dinner since neither of us felt like eating hamburger something for dinner.
Tonight is the time change apparently. At 2am, the clock spring FORWARD an hour and we lose an hour of sleep. We had planned to go to church but we will have to see if we can get up in time. then we are going to work on straightening up my side of the bed and the craft room, if we have time.
I ate some yogurt and shared some with the rattie boys. They ran around and played and when it finally got light enough, I went back up to bed to read and sleep some more. When I could go back to sleep, I did until noon, when both hubby and I woke up. We talked about going to see The Martian, since it came out this weekend. Both of us have read the book and thoroughly enjoyed it. We knew the movie would be different as they wouldn't be able to go into all the details the book did. We got up, dressed and out of the house in short time.
We went to Village Inn for lunch before the movie. I got the Denver omelette and sourdough toast with fresh fruit instead of hashbrowns. I topped it off with cranberry juice to drink, over ice. Yum!
We got to the movie theater in time to get our favorite seats, the ones just at the front but not down in front so close, but with the rail so we can put our feet up. Yeah! We got a large popcorn with enough butter to drown in and got our refillable cup filled. Usually we go through 2 refills of soda but because we just ate and drank a lot, we were fine with just the one.
The Martian with Matt Damon was really good. They did a good job in filtering through all the challenges and details and coming up with just enough on screen to make everyone watching invested in what was going to happen next. I doubt any of the people there had read the book but everyone enjoyed the movie as is. In the book, there really wasn't much, if any, swearing. There was some in the movie. I don't enjoy the swearing. The two and a half hours of the movie seemed to fly by. Not once was there a slow spot or did the character go into too much detail to be over our heads. I whole heartily recommend seeing it. It's a good time. I really recommend buying and reading the book!
We stopped at the grocery store to pick up fruit and milk. Gala apples were on sale for only 88 cents a pound! So I got 10 apples. I got some canned fruit for the rattie boys to try out since it is end of season and there is not much variety. We also picked up some more of King Sooper's homemade soups for dinner since neither of us felt like eating hamburger something for dinner.
Tonight is the time change apparently. At 2am, the clock spring FORWARD an hour and we lose an hour of sleep. We had planned to go to church but we will have to see if we can get up in time. then we are going to work on straightening up my side of the bed and the craft room, if we have time.
Friday, October 2, 2015
Friday, October 2, 2015
Today was a productive day. I woke up early, it was around 730am. Hubby wasn't in bed and in fact, he wasn't in the house. He was already gone for work. I was surprised as I didn't think he needed to be in that early. But I didn't feel like getting up so I turned on I Love Lucy and started reading my book until I got sleepy again. I thought the dogs had just gone out before hubby left so I wasn't concerned about taking them out again.
I read for awhile and then went back to sleep until 11am. I woke up just in time for Quincy. I got my yogurt and my cola and watched while I ate. DeWan, our male cat, came and sat on me to cuddle for a long time. Eventually I had to move him and get up as the dogs were whining to go out. And my dad called, telling me he would be over in a little bit to pick up the lamp I told mom I wasn't going to use anymore that he could have. It was still plugged into my nightstand so I got it out and cleaned it up. I had found two similar but not matching lamps for our bedroom that I wanted to use now. And I had bought a Halloween Skeleton Dog for my parents because it reminded me of a bulldog and I thought they might like it. So he picked that up too. Mom sent me an article about broaches, oversized broaches coming back in style. And more toilet paper and paper towel rolls for me to take to the Zoo when I go to the Docent meeting next week.
After dad left, I cleaned out the rattie boys cage and boy howdy, did it need it! It had been a couple of weeks since I was sick and I was just finally up to doing things. I did a really thorough cleaning and it took about an hour. In the meantime, Frank came home and I made out a grocery list and sent him back out to the store. I had defrosted some hamburger and had asked hubby what he wanted me to make for dinner out of it and he said hamburgers. So we needed buns and stuff. I gave Frank some money, and off he went.
I got the rattie boys cage reassembled and carpeted with towels. I got them their dinner of spaghetti noodles, fresh green beans, carrots and two olives. I filled up their seed and chow bowl and let them play out of the cage all afternoon. I left the roof door open so Dylan went up when Zeke did. They crawled around the roof for awhile and then they both crawled in the travel cage and went to sleep for a little. I call it The Penthouse. Dylan doesn't climb the outside of the cage like Zeke does so only goes on the roof when I open the door. They both had a really good time.
Hubby finally got home after a 12 hour day. He told me that he actually got up at 530am and started working in the kitchen. He had fed all the beasties early and taken off for work at 630am! he was confused why we hadn't made the burgers and cooked them already since I had sent Frank to the store. I told him we were waiting on him so the food would be freshly cooked and hot. And I sent Frank to the store so he could come straight home since he had worked 12 hours and we thought would be tired. He didn't get the concept that we were looking out for him and trying to make his life easier.
This weekend I want to really work on getting the shelves cleaned up in the craft room and get a start on putting away the cloth.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)