Halloween! Friday, October 31, 2014

     In the heat of the holiday, I didn't bother to count how many chocolate candies I ate while passing out candy to the Trick or Treaters, but I can safely say it was less than I have fingers.  And it was after I had a healthy dinner of burger and fries!  Oh goodness, don't they say that candy on Halloween has no calories?  Tomorrow will be a better day as I am sending all the leftover candy with my husband to his work.  On Monday.  Will power will have to get me through the next two days.
     I also didn't make it back onto the treadmill but I did get dressed and downstairs into the kitchen. I made enough trips to the front door to equal a ten minute trip on the treadmill so I don't feel like I let myself down today.  All in all, I think the day went rather well!
     Tomorrow I have to go to the Cheyenne Mountain Zoo to a Docent meeting and then do my shift in watching an orangutan, Hadiah, and her new baby.  We are watching her and taking notes to make sure she is being a good mom and bonding well with her child.  Keepers don't know if it is a girl or a boy yet but hopefully soon!  Now CMZoo is the United States only mountain zoo, #5 rated in the United States and #13 in the World!  I am proud to be a Docent there.  There is a lot of walking up hills there to get to both places I have to be, so tomorrow I won't need the treadmill but maybe I will feel up to walking for extra exercise!
     Creatively I got my morning pages done and did a little light reading of The Artist's way.  I have written down my "blurts", messages of negative reinforcement that pop into my head whenever I try to do something creative.  I wrote out some positive reinforcement ten times.  "I, Trouble OHara, and a brilliant and prolific multi-media artist."  Now they want us to go back in time looking for clues about where my negative blurts come from so I can understand and work to get rid of them.  I also did a contract with myself saying that I know this is going to be a 12 week course and I will dedicate an hour a day to the process.  And I know it will be a grueling emotional process but I am determined to stick it out.
     Today was a good day.  Tomorrow will be even better!

Thursday, October 30, 2014

     Today was a great day!  It took me a long time this afternoon to get dressed but I finally did around 4pm and went downstairs to the family room to watch tv.  While I was watching Dr Phil, I walked on the treadmill for 10 minutes!  My legs felt very heavy and we a little sore while I was doing it but I figure it was a start.

     I woke up feeling good and had good dreams.  I got my morning pages done, like it says in The Artist's Way.  That was hard as you have to hand write 3 notebook pages of anything you want, your thoughts and desires for the day.  A lot of what I wrote was how my hand kept cramping and I didn't want to write these pages.  I spent the morning in bed, in my pjs, watching tv and playing on the computer.  I woke up around 10am, then took a nap around 1pm.  I only slept for an hour and then still had this crazy energy.  I was able to get dressed finally and get myself downstairs.  Talked to the cocktails for a bit, played with the dogs, pet the cats.

     Tomorrow I plan on getting up and getting dressed much earlier and getting down into the kitchen to play on the computer and watch tv.  I will be getting ready to hand out candy for the trick o' treaters.  I plan on walking on the treadmill twice for 10 minutes each time.  And I only ate 5 Halloween sized pieces of candy!

     Food-wise we did ok today though my husband did bring home a pizza at 9pm.  With extra sauce, my favorite!

     I hope you are able to have little victories with your day, too.  Talk to you tomorrow.  Sweet dreams! 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Today was a very non-productive day.  Even though my daughter was visiting from out of town, I couldn't even get motivated enough to get dressed.  I spent the whole day in my pjs, in bed, watching tv and being sleepy.  I didn't even work on the crochet present I am making for my parents, a crochet bulldog.  It is for Christmas.

Last night our daughter took us out to a very expensive, exclusive, fine dining restaurant for a 5 course meal that included such a rich, white chocolate dessert, it made my stomach upset.  Everything was so good!  I don't even want to think about how many thousands of calories we ate.  It was a celebration so not something we would be repeating anytime soon.  The best part was the pictures we took under the lit arch.  What a wonderful daughter to do something for us that we could only dream about!

I got in lots of together time with my daughter before she had to leave.  Since she has expanded her territory to Colorado Springs, we will see her more often then before.  I guess I am a little depressed that she is gone.  The depression tends to come on when she arrives because I know she will be leaving soon and it is hard.  She lives two hours away and, being 25, is very busy in her life with her job and her fiance.  The fact that she lives with him at his parents while they save up money for a place makes me a little jealous.  I did get her measurements so I can make her something special for Christmas.

Tomorrow will be a better day.  I promise I will get up and get dressed.  I will go downstairs and work on my craft room, cleaning it up a little.  I make this vow to you.  Tomorrow will be a better day.

Tuesday, October 28, 2014

Hi.  My name is Trouble Kari Lahree OHara and I have gained so much weight, I am growing out of all my clothes.  The last time I weighed myself, it was 191 pounds.  I had to buy elastic waist pants because I am still gaining weight.  My pants are a size 16/18 and my shirt size is a 16.  I am writing this blog to be accountable to myself and you in my efforts to change my life habits to a healthier, purposed filled life.  I want to track my life choices as I strive to become a more fulfilled human being.

Though my goal is to lose weight to a healthy amount, my pursuits in a healthier, less sedentary lifestyle will be documented here.  I want to do a whole life makeover.  Change my way of thinking, get hobbies other than watching tv and reading all the time.  Feel like I have a purpose.  As I explore and expand my world, I hope you come along with me for the ride.

I just started reading a book called The Artist's Way.  it is a 12 week course on how to unblock the creative in you.  I am hoping that I will be able to find a creative way to approach housework, for which I have a big phobia.  I suffer from PTSD and DID.  I am learning on how to function and handle stress.  I have a loving, understanding husband who helps me deal with the outside world.  To help me get out of the house, I became a Docent at our local zoo, Cheyenne Mountain Zoo.  Number 5 Zoo in the United States and Number 13 in the World!  I am learning to crochet and do crafts.  I recently cruised Craigslist and was able to get a 20 pound bag of rice for crafts.  So many things I think I can do with it!  The possibilities!  I have lots of raw materials for crafts, just not organized enough to be able to do any right now.  That is part of what I want to work on, hoping The Artist's Way will help me sort out my environment block.

Come along for the ride, it's going to be interesting!