Today was a dreaming day. This morning I woke up in the middle of pushing my hubby away as he tried to lean down and kiss me goodbye. I suddenly realized what I was doing and called him to come back to give him a proper kiss goodbye, then went back to sleep. I had been having a dream in which my daughter was pushing me away, over and over again, and woke up to find me doing the same to hubby! When I went back to sleep, it was only for about 20 minutes because the dogs decided they wanted to go out. It was a beautiful day, warmer than the previous day here in the Springs. The sun was out and the snow and ice was melting. The dogs were feeling pent up from the day before and were feeling their oats. I tried letting them out and then in and going back to bed but they wanted to play the in and out game. Breakfast was dry frosted mini-wheats and a glass of milk. It's funny but I can't see putting the milk on the mini-wheats and eating them that way.
I spent a couple of hours in bed watching Apprentice UK on YouTube, then was tired so took a nap. I was dreaming about being a teenager, living in a rural area. I was supposed to leave with another kid and go walking...somewhere. But I was afraid. It was getting late and the shadows were growing. At first, I was at my house, outside in the front yard, but by this time I was alone in the woods, surrounded by nature. I was supposed to follow a path and go but then again, the thought it was late and I was afraid went through my mind again. I woke up confused and disorientated. Hubby called at that time and our conversation was disjointed.
I spent the rest of the day watching YouTube and Hulu. Hubby finished working and doing the printing of our manual for the Docents for my Zoo. He does printing for Charities and the Zoo manuals for the Docent training is one. The classes to training the new Docents starts next Saturday on the 17th. The manual is 371 pages long and needs to be copied as single pages. They need to be 3 hole punched and shrink wrapped too. Hubby did all this on his own time today, after he finished work for his company. Tomorrow I need to call the Docent in charge of the manual and let her know she can pick them up. Hubby always makes me a copy of the manual so I will have the latest version.
When hubby got home today, his back was spasming and he took some pain pills and went to soak in the tub. After he got out, I massaged it for him for a little bit. Then he made me a grilled cheese sandwich for dinner. Later, when he was hungry, he made both of us peanut butter and peach jelly sandwiches.
Since I know the name of the Catholic church I want to attend, Monday I will call and see if I can schedule an appointment with the Padre for Tuesday. I would like to see if they will allow me to come back to the church since I have been divorced 3 times, married 4. If they say I have to get married in the Church, I am willing to do that. I don't know but I am hoping with my mental illness, they will discount the previous marriages. I have thought long and hard about this and would like to try to join the Church again. When I was in high school, I was Catholic and was in the choir with my Vice Principle. In choir, I called him by his first name but at school I had to call him Mr. so and so. I even had talked to a nun about becoming a nun, it was something I felt called to do but she said if I really wanted to be a nun, I should go to collage first and then I would be useful to them. Biggest mistake of my life, as my life took a definite downward spiral after that. True, if I had joined the church at that time I wouldn't have had my daughter or my step-daughters. But I can't help but wonder what my life would have been like, how my mental illness would have developed and been treated. How I would have fared.
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