Today was a good day. I woke up early enough to do morning pages, watched my husband get ready for work and then waited for my friend, Holly, to come over with her daughter, Abbey. Now Abbey is only one and she helps decorate our Christmas tree. Today she took down all our ornaments, played with them and then had us hang them up where she pointed to again. Holly is working on one of those crochet beards that go with a hat. The hat she made is so big, it was swimming on her head! And this is the child size. We think she got lost on the pattern and started to follow a bigger size when she made it. It's easy to get sidetracked with a one year old. I am working on crocheting a cowl scarf for my hubby right now.
After a couple of hours of crocheting and visiting , Holly and Abbey packed up and headed home. My stomach was upset so I ate a couple of pieces of ham and went upstairs to lie down. I took a two hour nap and woke up refreshed and ready to tackle pictures. See, I am putting together pictures of my daughter, Cassie, when she was a baby to put into a photo box. It is a wooden box with 8 drawers and in each drawer are 6 dowels that have hanging picture holders. There are a lot of picture holders and you can put pictures in the front and back. I got one drawer done and was working on the second when these conflicting feeling came over me. In this pictures, there is a lot of her dad and his family. I was awashed with feeling of love, happiness, sadness and hat. I started to having a anxiety attack so I just left everything and come upstairs to take an anxiety pill and pet Kira, my corgi. Petting her and running my fingers through her fur always calms me down after a while. Tomorrow I will be able to work more on it.
So tonight I am spending upstairs in my bedroom, reading and playing on the computer while watching tv. My poor hubby was home yesterday with a spasming back so he is making up the time by working 10 hour days the rest of the week.
Tomorrow at 9am we have an appointment with our bankruptcy attorney to sign our documents and then the attorney will file them that afternoon. Then we will be protected by the court from all our creditors. The company that has a judgement against us will not be able to seize any money from our bank account or garnish our wages. So far I have managed to dodge the collector that I was supposed to pay on Monday and we just need to get through tomorrow. I need to call and get our car insurance switched over to Amica, cancel our current car insurance and cancel State Farm homeowner's insurance. We will get refunds from these companies but not in time for Christmas, which is probably good since we would be tempted to spend the money to buy bigger and more presents for everyone. We are having a small, personal Christmas.
The rest of the day I will be organizing and putting into place all the pictures of my daughter when she was little. I think I will be able to handle it a little bit better than today. I will probably take an anxiety pill before starting to work, wear a lighter shirt so I don;t get overheated like today, and turn on the fan. And remember that what happened before is in the past and that is where it needs to stay. It's hard, maybe this is why I have avoided this task until now. I really hope she love this.
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