Today was a busy day to start off. I woke up early enough to do my morning pages, didn't remember any dreams but still had a lot to say. My daughter, Cassie, and her fiance had a knock down, drag out fight. One of those "if you are so miserable all the time, why are you with me?" fights that never lead anywhere good. So I told her about me and hubby, when we went through that same problem. And I told her she just needed to bear with it for another 18 months until he was out of school, then his schedule would be more like her's, early mornings. Right now Cass is working two jobs and he is only working one. He is lucky that the VA is going to pay for his school and living expenses while he goes to heating and air conditioning school. Originally he wanted to be an elevator mechanic, but that school was only offered in another state, so he settled for heating and air conditioning. By this afternoon, they had talked and made up.
I had therapy this morning, then two errands to run after. In therapy we talked about a bad dream I had where I ended up being mad at my mom and woke up mad at my mom. In the dream, my parents and I bought a mobile home. We hired 3 guys to set it up and do everything for it so we could live in it. The next morning I woke up early and found smashed beer bottles in the carpet, so I went to the guys and found out two of them had been drinking the night before. They had gotten drunk and smashed their beer bottles. So I told the two guys I was fining them $50 each and collected the money from them. Then I went and cleaned up the broken bottles. In the menatime, the guys start sabotaging the mobile home, cutting the power cords off of the lamps, doing little things badly, until my mom, wanting to restore peace, told the guys she was giving them back the $50 each and tipping them heavily on top of their pay. I was so livid, I lost face. How dare she! And that's when I woke up, still fuming at mom.
Steve, my therapist, and I talked about what might be going on in my life to make me feel like my mom had betrayed me. You know we are filing bankruptcy and I have been in charge of doing all the paperwork for it. Well, this is just like when I filed bankruptcy in 1992 with my daughter's dad, David. Only then he insisted the Big B was all my fault and when we got thrown out of our house and had to go live in a cardboard box under a bridge, it would be all my fault, too. We lost our house and a lot of different things. David took it personally and became depressed and when he was depressed, he wanted to drag me down with him. His emotional and psychological abuse was relentless. I barely made it out of that marriage alive. It took years of counselling to get to be the functioning individual I am today. But anyway, some of those feeling are coming through with this Big B. The saving grace is hubby doesn't blame me one bit for this, it was a joint effort and we haven't blamed either for this set back. This time we are keeping the house, we are not behind on payments. In fact we just refinanced the house and are skipping a payment and that payment is going to pay the fee for the Big B attorney to file the Big B. And the refinance allows us to change our homeowner's insurance to a better and bigger policy, finally covering us for the right amount of insurance in case the house is totally destroyed and needs to be rebuilt.
And tomorrow I am calling Amica, our new homeowner's insurance company, and adding the cars on the policy to get a multi-line discount. That discount is going to be paid for with the refund of the homeowner's policy, so will give us a little financial break too. Oh, and tomorrow I get to call State Farm and cancel our homeowner's policy from them and request a refund. I think they just got paid at the beginning of the month so we should see a big refund from them. That refund is going to pay for Cookie's teeth removal, one of our dogs. She has serious cavities in a few teeth and needs them removed. The refund is also, hopefully, going to buy me an adult tricycle, then finance our trip to see our pregnant daughter and her family. I have a double stroller for her, she has a one year old and is expecting her second in February 2015.
Everything is coming together and working out and I am just waiting for the other shoe to drop. But like Steve said, there doesn't have to be something bad happening just because everything is going our way. We can just be grateful to God for everthing He is putting into place for us.
One of the unexpected bonuses of refinancing the house is now my name will be on the deed and mortgage. Since we always pay our mortgage first, no matter what, it can only help my credit. And if my hubby dies, I won't have to go through Probate to get the house and pay gift taxes on it. Yeah!
After the therapy, I went over to our clinic and got a blood test, checking my thyroid and my blood sugars because of my diabetes. Then I went to the attorney to turn in the paperwork for the Big B. We now need to get our Pre-Bankruptcy counselling done so are going to do that tomorrow.
I told Steve I am trying to limit going out of the house to 3 times a week, otherwise I can't get everything done. He said that was a good goal.
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